a pancake morning

My morning went something like this:

Me at 7 a.m., immediately after waking up: "I'm hungry. I want pancakes, scrambled eggs and a side of bacon. And coffee. Half decaf."


Andy, not wanting to crush the dreams of his pregnant wife: "Ok, run through the shower and let's go to IHOP."

Me, considering it: "Uhm.... ok."

This was a random Wednesday, we had a coupon for a free kid's breakfast, and Levi loves breakfast. Why not! Levi carried his white bunny, Boo Boo, to the car and into IHOP where Boo Boo needed to sit in the high chair with Levi. That may have been my favorite part.

My second favorite part is the way Levi practically stumbled out of IHOP in his pancake food coma afterwards. He was so preoccupied with looking at all the old men eating their breakfast that he nearly knocked himself down by running into a booth corner. He quickly fixed the situation by looking at Daddy and saying "Up!" Wouldn't it be nice to be carried around whenever you felt like it?

I view these last few months with just Levi in a similar way to the last few days of pre-Levi. That feeling of freedom that comes with knowing your schedule and being able to predict the behaviors of your entire family is something that may leave us again for a few months after this baby girl arrives. How are we going to coordinate the sleeping/eating/needs of two tiny people with our own, and still have random fun while doing it? I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure that there will be a time when mommy wakes up wanting pancakes and we all hop in the car for Random Pancake Wednesday.

yeah mon

Apparently in Jamaica, they actually do say "yeah mon!" to each other. Part of me wondered if it was all for the benefit of tourists, but everywhere you went, you'd hear it.

Andy and I just got back from a four-day, three-night trip to the all-inclusive Sandals Royal Caribbean resort in Jamaica. It was the first time we've both left Levi overnight (with my parents), and we all were reunited in one piece. Here's my running list of all the wonderful things we encountered:

1. The flight. A 3.5 hour flight without a toddler! What a luxury. For the first time ever, I was able to watch a movie on my own device (Kindle Fire) during the flight. Before Levi, I didn't have an iPad or Kindle Fire. I was able to stretch out the 2-hour "Water for Elephants" that I rented for $4 throughout the whole flight. I also ordered hot tea as my drink, the most un-toddler-friendly thing I could think of.

2. The weather. About 82 during the day, 72 at night. It was never too hot, never too cold. The breeze was friendly and constant. I just loved being outside so much, even if it did result in a few Jamaican mosquito bites including three on my forehead.

3. The trees and birds. Again, I loved being outside the whole time. The huge almond trees on the beach had the most amazing leaves. There was a bird that I never saw, but I thought at first that it was a person yelling "help! help!" I also spotted the Jamaican hummingbird with its long tail feathers. I love hummingbirds.

4. The room and the butler. We were in a butler-serviced suite! That meant we had two butlers (one we only saw a couple times, the other was our main guy). Joshayne and Orlando. Every time Joshayne would ring our bell, he'd call out "It's Joshayne... the but-lerrrrrr." He would set up our beach chairs and towels, bring me nice virgin drinks, make our dinner reservations, bring us snacks... My favorite was when we returned to our room after a long day at the beach (tough life) and he had drawn a rose-petal scented bubble bath and put flowers and candles all over the room! Loved that. The room itself was beautiful and luxurious. If it had rained "liquid sunshine" and we were stuck inside all day, I wouldn't have minded.

5. Getting to know my baby. The early baby movements are easy to miss when you are running around and going about your daily life, but on the first day of vacation, I felt like I got to spend so much time with my little girl. All those fruity cold drinks and time just relaxing... she would move all over the place. The best was when we went to the drum show and she kicked up a little storm while the drums were playing! I loved knowing she could feel and hear some of this world that she'll soon be a part of.

6. Seeing Andy. Vacation is only vacation if my hubby is with me. Just having him by my side was the best part.

7. The baby name game. We went through every single girl name in the 60,000 baby names book we bought for Levi. That's approximately 30,000 names. Unbelievable. We wrote down every name that we didn't have an immediate "no" for. So far, still no official name but we also won't really decide until the birthday anyways.

8. Tie-dye. The resort had a daily schedule of little activities throughout the day and each evening. Aqua aerobics, anyone? They had a tie-dying session! I stole one of Andy's undershirts (thank goodness I bought him new ones for Christmas) and we bought a little t-shirt for our baby girl. They are pink and yellow tie-dyed to match. It'll be a few years until she's big enough for her shirt, but I still think it's pretty awesome. (Don't worry, Levi isn't left out. He got a hand-painted Jamaican egg shaker.)

9. The music and dancing. Dang, but they can dance!! The drummers and dance group was absolutely crazy to watch.

10. Reminiscing about our honeymoon. This resort was totally different than our honeymoon resort in Mexico. This was much more compact (very good for a short trip and made it so much easier to get around quickly) among other things, but we kept coming up with things that are different now than 7 years ago. No Facebook photo posting yet! No Facebook statuses! No iPad or iPhone! I didn't have a job. We didn't have a house, car payment, dog, kid...

11. Wearing a bikini and totally not caring. No pictures, enough said.

12. The lack of schedule. The latest I slept in was 9:00, but it was still a sleep in! We didn't have to eat lunch at noon and dinner at 6:00. We weren't confined to our rooms after 7:30. It was nice to have a little freedom.

13. Missing Levi. I found myself missing the funniest things about Levi. In particular, his little squishy baby armpits. I realized it had been four days since I had picked up a baby (must start saying toddler) under those sweet little arms. Four days since I pulled his arm up while getting him dressed and tickled his little arm pit. Grown up armpits are gross, but baby armpits are sweet. ;)

This list more than makes up for the fact that I didn't get a drop of Jamaican rum in my frozen fruity drinks. Totally worth it!

it's a...

GIRL!

The ultrasound tech wasn't as sure because the baby was in a very modest position, but after I walked around a bit and then the doctor checked, the position was much better. He said definitely girl.

Wow is all I can say. I think I'm a little nervous for what is ahead of me. With Levi, I felt completely unprepared to care for and raise a little boy. But as life progressed and we found our way, I discovered more and more joys of what it means to be a mother to a little boy. It's like unwrapping a whole bunch of presents that you didn't expect. Things like how adorable it is to see a little boy with his daddy, or to see him holding onto his doggie's leash. Advantages like being able to say things like "oh, you're such a boy" when he does something gross that I'm sure both girl and boy babies do.

But with a girl, I've always wanted a girl and saw myself with a teenage daughter, shopping at the mall with her, baking cookies together, and doing all the mother-daughter bonding that my own mother and I have done. Now that it's almost a reality, I wonder how reality will measure up to my expectations. Does that make sense? I feel like I have pictured a reality for her that I didn't picture for Levi, which could potentially set myself up for disappointment. Isn't it crazy the ways we find things to worry about!?

Silly worries aside, I'm thrilled to find out this baby girl is growing and healthy. Already I feel like she's different than her brother. She doesn't demand that I eat an entire house worth of food each day. She doesn't kick me when I draw my legs up. Rather, she waits until I'm stretched out and quiet, laying still. Oh, and I think she requires more, eh hm, maternal fat stores as they call them since my weight gain has been a lot steadier than with Levi.

I don't know what she'll look like. If she'll have my brown eyes or Andy's blue. Will she be bald as a cue ball for her first year, or come out looking like I did with a mass of dark brown hair? Will she be more of a snuggler than Levi was? I don't know yet, but I do know I already love her.

the countdowns

I've had several countdowns running, and I'm very happy to say they are nearing an end.

• Just 25 hours until my mom's flight lands and 50 hours until my dad drives in
• Less than 2 days until The Big Ultrasound. The office called me today to confirm and remind me of my appointment. Pssh. As if I'd forget!
• Four days until Andy and I take our babymoon trip to Jamaica! This will be a huge first for us, as it's the first time we've both left Levi overnight. He'll be in good hands with my parents, and the many many lists I've left.
• One week until Chloe is off of cage rest after her spinal surgery. I'd like to think that our diligence and her cooperation is going to be very good in the long run, even though none of us have liked having her in the cage all day resting.
• Two weeks until our house goes back on the market and we begin the house hunt again in earnest.

And my fantasy... three weeks until we get an amazing offer on our home and put down an offer on our dream home, all on the same day. Hah, dream on.

not over you

Pregnancy has a way of turning all songs on the radio into songs about my baby-to-be, as mentioned in the previous post. This time around, this one particular song has been following me around and making me misty eyed every time it comes on. Gavin DeGraw is not talking about a baby when he's singing "Not Over You," but here's what I hear in the lyrics...

Dreams, that's where I have to go
to see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio

(I only have one picture of this baby, a little blurby picture. And I listen to the radio almost all day long.)

Hope, hope there's a conversation
where we both admit we had it good but

(Sometimes, I just can't wait to be able to talk to him or her.)

until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood

(To be so close to the baby, and yet so far from actually holding him or her...)

And I realize

If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine

(My standard answer to the "how are you?" question is "good"... probably because I'm mostly good, but also because I know I could be a lot worse off. So generally speaking, I'm good.)

I would lie and say that you're not on my mind

(Sometimes I will also say something like "it's going so fast" like this baby isn't always on my mind because I'm so busy with life and Levi.)

But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two 

(This is when Levi and I are out to lunch, just the two of us at a table set for two...)

and finally I'm forced to face the truth

No matter what they say, I'm not over you
Not over you

(Yup, it hits you like a ton of bricks... it won't be just the two of us for much longer! And I'm still not over the excitement of finding out about this baby.)

Damn, damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
You took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent 
I I'm a boomerang doesn't matter how you throw me
Turn around and I'm back in the game

(Hah, I feel like I was just there doing this pregnancy thing, and here I am, back in the game. Maybe because I only had less than two months between weaning Levi and getting pregnant again.)

Even better than the old me

But I'm not even close without you

One day I will listen to songs like normal people do, I promise!

i just haven't met you yet

I was eating lunch with my little dining companion today, when one of our favorite special songs came on the radio. I've thought of this as "our song" ever since before Levi was born, as it played constantly on the radio in the  days leading up to his July 2010 birthday. "Haven't Met You Yet" just seemed to make so much more sense as a baby song than a love song, to me. Here are the lyrics and my interpretations throughout:


I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
(Approaching the due date, sometime I'd get worked up about it, but then realized there was nothing I could do yet.)
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
(I think most pregnant women are *this close* to losing their sanity on most days. It's a big change a-coming!)

I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
(Hind sight... I didn't think I'd be in labor for 12 days straight. No joke.)
And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
(Twelve days of contractions is WORK!)

And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
(False. I do not give more than the joy I receive.)

I just haven't met you yet.
(It's so odd to have a person inside you, so very close, and yet so far away.)
I might have to wait.
(Hah. Those days are the longest days ever.)

I'll never give up.
(I have yet to hear of a pregnant woman staying pregnant forever.)

I guess it's half timing, 
And the other half's luck.
(Yup, that magic day is completely out of my control.)

Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
(All of a sudden, here's a whole new person!)
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
(Baby, you have turned me into a mother.)


They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and, 
We'll be united.
(We got it right. Not many women dream of their child born by c-section after all that hard work laboring, but in the end, the perfect plan for us unfolded and I finally got to meet my Levi.)


* Disclaimer: Today's sappy post was brought to you by pregnant hormones, courtesy of your July 2012 baby-to-be, who I haven't met yet.

radio silence

I can explain my brief blog silence for two reasons:

1) We moved the computer downstairs when we put the house on the market for staging reasons, and I just don't spend as much time on it now. Instead I use the iPad and now the Kindle Fire to catch up on web things.

2) I'm going to have another baby! The cat is out of the bag now. I'm due on July 14, 2012 with my second baby. This one is just two weeks shy of Levi's second birthday, so it'll be a busy, busy summer. I just finished telling all the friends and family, so before that I was being quiet all around so as not to spill the beans too early. I enter the second trimester in a couple days and so far, so good. I haven't been as famished as I was with Levi, nor have I been quite as tired. I have, however, been a much more emotional basketcase. I first figured this out around week 5 or 6 when the song "Lighters" by Eminem and Bruno Mars made me cry. Seriously? I have no idea why... when Bruno sings about all he wants to see is a sky full of lighters... I still don't understand what my deal was.

So that's my excuse for the short blog silence! Back to our regularly scheduled programming.