potty training... in less than one day

(I'm writing this post for all my fellow parent and parents-to-be friends who may be interested in the details and how our experience went.)

So the time had come for us to potty train Levi. I was honestly nervous about doing it for all the obvious reasons (what if it didn't work? how do we handle public toilets? what about nighttime?), but fear isn't a good reason to not do something. Friends/mentors from church gave us a copy of this book, "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day."

Yes, cue the raised eyebrows, my own included. How could you possibly retrain something that this kid has been doing all 2.5 years of his life? Well, I read the book, cover to cover, and even took the test at the end to see if I fully understood the method. I figured we'd go whole hog on this, exactly by the book, and if it worked, great. If not, it was only a day. I also adjusted my attitude to one of "yes, it will work" and not "if it works." No point in setting us up for failure. (If you are pressed for time or don't like reading about all the research stuff that went into the development of the method, read the last chapter which is a narrative of how a woman trains her son. It's a fictional composite of many real life examples and shows how the day of training should go. It's very detailed. I had Andy read it after I read the whole book so that he'd understand the process and could step in where needed on training day.)

The first step was determining if Levi was ready. Could he stay dry for significant periods of time, could he follow a series of directions? Did he have enough language understanding skills? Yes, he was ready according to the book.

We assembled all the necessary items, according to the book. A baby doll that can drink and wet, a potty chair with a removable bowl, a lot of drinks and snacks for training day, a list of "Friends Who Care" about Levi being a big boy, easy-up training underwear.



We talked up "Big Potty Day" for several weeks. We scheduled this day to be a Saturday when both Andy and I could be home, completely dedicated to potty training, with no other big events nearby on the calendar. I told Levi it would be so nice when he could finally get rid of the diapers and use the potty. We got a few "big boy potty" type picture books. We showed him how we use the potty. The night before, we went to the grocery store and let him pick out the snacks and drinks we'd use for Big Potty Day. He was *thrilled* to be able to get whatever he wanted from the snack aisle. This was also one of my favorite parts. ;)


After breakfast on Big Potty Day, we took off his diaper and helped him get into his new Spiderman underwear. He was in charge of actually doing the pulling up, something he had never done before. I was to verbally instruct him on how to pull up the underwear, how to grasp the band in the front and back, bend his knees and pull. If he didn't do what I told him after a moment, I'd guide his hands into the correct motion and remove my hands as soon as he started to do it correctly. Yes, it's really hard to watch a toddler try to dress himself and not help, but this is a key part of the method. The child is to be responsible for all that they do in the potty process.



Then, I offer him his drinks to make his bladder full. While he drinks, I show him how his dolly can drink too. When dolly drinks, she needs to pee. I show how the dolly will run quickly to the potty, pull down her pants, sit, pee, pull up pants, empty the pot, flush the toilet and wash her hands. Now Levi has to show the doll how to do the whole process. This teaching part of the method is to help reinforce the learning. After we do this, we check that dolly's pants are dry. Yay for dolly! She has dry pants! We give her a treat for being dry.


We check again in five minutes. Oh no, dolly is wet. She had an accident. We love dolly, but we do NOT like wet pants. She has to practice running to the potty.

Now Levi gets his turn to practice. Every five minutes, we do a dry pants check. Yay for dry pants, you get a treat. Oh no, Levi had an accident. You immediately say no loudly, tell him how much we do NOT like wet pants. We love you very much, but we do not like wet pants. Your friends care about you very much, but they do not like wet pants either. He has to practice 10 times how to run quickly to the potty, pull down pants, sit down, immediately stand back up, pull up pants and leave the room. Practice from several different spots in the house. If he doesn't run quickly, I guide him to move faster. "You had an accident. We have to practice how to go quickly to the potty so your pants stay dry." Then he has to clean up the wet puddle (yes, this is difficult to watch a toddler do, but important to make them responsible) and then take off wet pants and put on dry ones.

Continue with the dry pants checks every five minutes, and make sure he goes to sit every 15-30 minutes until he has success. He then has to dump the pot into the toilet, flush and wash his hands. Dry pants inspections are rewarded with snacks and more drinks.

I'll tell you, it was a little messy sometimes, but he got the hang of it very quickly. I explained that mommy and daddy won't be telling him when to go to the potty, but that he had to go whenever he felt like he needed to pee in order to keep his pants dry. And somehow or another, it worked! All of a sudden, he left the room and went into the bathroom. "I'm peeing in the potty!" he shouts out to us. At lunch time, he interrupted his own lunch time to get down and go pee. The dry pants inspections became less frequent and turned into more casual remarks about "wow, it's so nice to have dry pants. You're such a big boy." We also frequently referenced all the Friends Who Care, saying how much they like big boys with dry pants and how proud they are of Levi. We got to call a few friends to tell them of our progress. I think this aspect of societal pressure/praise/expectations really helped Levi see the importance of becoming potty trained. It also helped that Levi thought he was talking to Boz, a cartoon bear, on the phone. (Switched Daddy's profile picture on my phone... Daddy does a very convincing Boz voice, apparently!)

On the following days, training follow up is continued with less and less frequent dry pants checks. We are on day four now and haven't had an accident since day two (which was when we were at church and he asked to go, but couldn't figure out how to get up on the miniature toilet in the kid room by himself). And prepare yourself for parental TMI, but he's also been successful with the #2 on the potty now, as well. He has been wearing real underwear since training day, and wearing pull-ups (which we call nighttime underwear) for naps and nighttime, but even those have been dry.

So there you have it, the results of our one-day potty training. I wouldn't have thought it possible unless I had done it myself. I'm still a little on edge when it comes to how to navigate this new underwear world, especially when it comes to going out in public, but just like any other parenting milestone, we'll find our new normal soon. Until then, I have swapped out those size 5 diapers in my bag for a ziploc of backup clothes. ;)

a floor picnic... finally

One time I gave Levi two options... One was to stay here (home) for lunch and the other was to go out, get something special to eat, and bring it back here (home) to eat. He chose option two. As I was getting everything ready, I saw him ever so carefully carrying his plate of food off the kitchen table and into the family room. I quickly grabbed it and asked what he was doing. Apparently he took me very literally when I said we'd eat "here" because I was sitting on the playmat in the family room. Poor kid wanted to have a picnic. That day he learned the meaning of the words "option" and "misunderstanding."

Today we really did have a floor picnic, and it was pretty awesome. All our friends from Sesame Street joined us. This may need to become a new Friday tradition.




(Chloe, as always, was on clean-up duty.)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

road trip survival

This Christmas, we traveled as a family of four plus dog to Florida. That's 13.5 hours of drive time, plus stops. I'm so happy to report that we not only survived the car rides to and from, but that we maybe even enjoyed ourselves. Say what?! I prayed many times that we would be joyful travelers, and I believe that was a good prayer to pray.

 Some of my favorite discoveries and tips that helped us along the way...

1. The DVD player. Ahh yes, the wonderful invention of built-in entertainment systems. Although we purchased our minivan in May, we had not yet allowed Levi to even glimpse the DVD player screen. This meant that it was a huge treat for him. It occupied probably 80% of his time in the car. I am so not ashamed of this. He was thrilled to be able to pick show after show. We put restrictions on it, of course. No shows until after breakfast. No shows during naptime. No shows after bedtime. Which brings me to point #2...

2. Schedules. I wrote up a schedule for the trip. Maybe some people aren't as, uhm, particular about things as I am, but this really helped me. My schedule had three columns. One for time, for me and for Andy. I listed when we'd start the drive, how long each leg of the trip would be, how long each break would be, and what we would do on each break. Breaks were 30 minutes for short stops, 45 minutes for a snack/fuel stop and 1 hour for a meal. I wrote out what adult was going to care for which child's/pet's needs. The schedule helped us not question "should we keep driving? when should we stop?" all the time. I also scheduled in nap time for Levi at his usual nap time, which helped him feel more relaxed.

3. Stocking the car. Each nook of the van had some purpose. Snacks and cooler were up front. Toys for the kids (one bin per kid) were behind my seat where I could reach. The driver door has baby wipes, hand wipes and clorox wipes. Glove compartment has a ziplock bag of ziplock bags and rubber bands (because it seemed like a good idea). The designated trash bag was a zipper-top gallon bag I kept up front with me. It was very helpful in keeping together all the little pieces of paper, wrappers, etc. that collect in cup holders usually. I also threw a roll of paper towels in the trunk just in case. Extra outfits for each kid were in a gallon zipper bag under a seat.

4. Packing early. We packed the whole car the night before. The only things left were the "last minute bag" and the cooler. We packed the cooler with sandwiches and drinks the night before and left it in the fridge. The "last minute bag" is my old diaper bag. I put my list of last minute items that we need to get ready in the morning (the kids' monitors, sleep sacks, our toiletry bags) on it, fill it in the morning, and throw it in the car.

And some of my favorite moments of the drive...

• Levi asked for a snack. I told him I had bunnies (graham cracker bunnies). He accepted the bag happily. A few minutes later, when daddy returned to the car... "Look daddy! I have bears! Mommy thinks they's bunnies." Turns out, I had graham cracker bears. He didn't feel like correcting me.
• Wendy played with a crinkly book for so much of the drive. I loved how she'd just fall asleep, and then in an hour we'd start to hear *crinkle crinkle* again.
• Seeing Chloe curled up in the middle row, middle seat between the two kids on her own baby blanket. Half the time I forgot she was even with us, she was so good! (Whenever we stopped the car, however, she'd turn into a nutcase.
• Watching the temperature gauge climb higher and higher as we drove further south.
• The outdoor picnic lunch we had on our return trip. It was perfect weather to sit outside at a rest area. So glad I packed the extra picnic quilt so Wendy and I could play on the ground.
• Letting Levi sit up in the driver seat (keys out of ignition) during a few of our stops. 
• The lunch break on our way to Florida, when Wendy and I sat in the open tailgate of the van, her practicing sitting up, and watching all the people walk by.

It'll likely be another two years again before we do the drive instead of an airplane to Florida, and I'm already looking forward to seeing Levi as a 4.5-year-old and Wendy as a toddler. I guess we'll have to take turns who gets to pick the next video to watch!

a day to myself

I truly enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I won't go into all the reasons here right now, but I do love it. But just like with any paying job, there are some days you'd just really like a break. Especially while nursing a baby, the "I can't go anywhere away from the baby for more than three hours at a time without planning ahead" thing can wear on you a bit. So yesterday my hubby awarded me with a blissful day of doing whatever I wanted to do. He took the day off work and completely left me to my own devices. This is how I filled my day. 1. Wake up and nurse Wendy. Let her hang out with me in bed while Andy and Levi go out to get breakfast and bring it home. Eat my bagel and cream cheese, drink my coffee while I stay in bed and watch "Clueless." (It was the only thing on Netflix that seemed mindless, fun, and short enough.) It's been a while since I've just sat a watched a whole movie straight. 2. While I wait for Wendy to wake up from her morning nap, I read several chapters of Genesis. 3. Nurse Wendy and then leave for my afternoon of freedom. 4. Go to TJ Maxx to get Andy a new belt, new throw pillows for the couch and a basket for the magazines we keep on the dining table. Something about buying a decorative, functional basket makes the organizer within me sing. Stop at the Christian bookstore and buy a really sweet nativity advent calendar... each day we take one character out of the pocket and build up the nativity scene. 5. Drive to Panera for lunch by myself with my Kindle book. Of course, the woman next to me ends up having a baby girl Wendy's age, so I spend most of the time thinking of my sweet baby instead of reading my book. 6. Go to the toystore across from Panera just because I can. It's a great place to get ideas, but way overpriced. 7. Go to AC Moore to buy goodies for decorating my Thanksgiving table. Somehow I end up with six sheets of paper, a can of spray paint, and some raffia. Yeah, not sure how this'll all work out! 8. Go to Home Goods and fall in love with a rug. Decide that 100% wool is not a good idea because it keeps shedding on me. Console myself with buying another basket that'll be used for the books and magazines we keep in Levi's "quiet corner" -- the place we send him when he's being too loud and needs to take a chill pill. 9. Catch up with two friends and my mom on my phone while driving to and fro. (I have a hands-free headset.) 10. Go home, nurse Wendy and get dressed for exercise class. Pilox my butt off. That would be pilates and boxing moves. I likely looked like a fool, but I was so busy trying to keep up that I didn't have time to care. My arms feel like rubber noodles afterwards. 11. Go home, eat the wonderful dinner Andy cooked... homemade Chicago-style stuffed pizza! It was amazing. I can't believe we haven't tried to make this at home before. I'm told the kitchen was covered in flour several times during the day, but there is no mess to be seen. What a gift. 12. Put the kids to bed and then go to my haircut appointment that just happened to line up with my "me" day. 13. Come home (again!) and finally get to spend time with Andy. What a crazy me day. It felt really good to break my routine for just a day and I know the kids and Andy all enjoyed their time together. All these little things I did felt like such a luxury, but I'm glad to be back to my regular routine again today. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

the reason i like friday the thirteenths

Three years ago today was Friday, November 13. That morning before I went to work, I took a pregnancy test and saw a bright blue plus sign. I spent the rest of the day walking around with that same weird gliding feeling you get after roller skating all day. And that is why anytime a Friday the 13th rolls around, I just smile.

a week with four kids

My dear friend Lesley was brave and kind enough to make the six-hour drive from her home in West Virginia to visit for the week. Oh, and she has two kids to bring along! Her oldest is 13 days younger than my Levi, and her baby is 31 days older than my Wendy. It was a fully, crazy, fun house. Here are some tidbits from the week.

1. Mommy brain is a real thing. The constant "I have to pay attention to these little human beings to make sure no one is in danger or making a bad behavior choice or needs anything" puts a serious toll on your ability to have a linear conversation! We say "what was I saying?" at least four times every hour.

2. It's important to take embarrassing pictures of your toddlers running around in diapers so you can show them to their prom dates later.

3. One baby laughing is adorable. Two babies laughing is unbearably cute.

4. Sharing is really hard to do and is also hard to define. When you have to give someone a toy and "share" it with them, that can make you sad. When you get to have the toy because someone is "sharing" it with you, you are happy. Very confusing concept, but very important.

5. Moms need other moms in order to feel the encouragement and motivation necessary to leave the house.

6. Bedtime is the best, best time of the day. Those few hours after the kids go to bed are priceless.

7. High fives are very important. Even moms need them after successfully loading four kids and two strollers into a minivan.

8. It's really amazing to watch your toddler actually enjoy having a friend over. When Levi was a baby, playdates were really about moms getting together. Now Levi can genuinely enjoy the company of a friend his age. It's so cute.

9. If one kid starts yelling or making dinosaur noises, the other kid will probably do the same thing. If one kid wants fruit of bread, the other kid will want fruit or bread too.

10. Shopping with four kids is nearly impossible. But not completely impossible. You never know unless you try.

We had a wonderful week. I can't wait until next time when the girls are mobile! Then things are really going to be interesting.

seven words that changed my life

There are moments in your life when the words you hear hang in the air, like the words in cartoon speak bubbles.

"You've been accepted."

"Will you marry me?"

"It's a boy."

"It's a girl."

But there are seven words that I will remember for the rest of my life. I hear them exactly ten years ago today. They mark a pivotal moment when I met the man of my dreams. I walked up to him, he shook my hand and said "It's so nice to finally meet you!" I remember that we were outside. The weather in Evanston that day was nice enough for just a fleece jacket. As I walked and talked and heard more about this guy, I thought it sounded like his life was already full enough, that he didn't seem to need another friend, especially some random girl like me.

Ten years later, we have built a life together. I watch as he bends over to take the trash bag full of diapers out of the diaper pail and out to the curb. I see him carry out children into church, one on each arm. I stop what I'm doing to stare at him the first time he wears a sweater each fall beause it reminds me of how he looked that first fall when I met him, exactly ten years ago today.

Those seven words hang in the air. And I love the man who spoke them to me.