(I'm writing this post for all my fellow parent and parents-to-be friends who may be interested in the details and how our experience went.)
So the time had come for us to potty train Levi. I was honestly nervous about doing it for all the obvious reasons (what if it didn't work? how do we handle public toilets? what about nighttime?), but fear isn't a good reason to not do something. Friends/mentors from church gave us a copy of this book, "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day."
Yes, cue the raised eyebrows, my own included. How could you possibly retrain something that this kid has been doing all 2.5 years of his life? Well, I read the book, cover to cover, and even took the test at the end to see if I fully understood the method. I figured we'd go whole hog on this, exactly by the book, and if it worked, great. If not, it was only a day. I also adjusted my attitude to one of "yes, it will work" and not "if it works." No point in setting us up for failure. (If you are pressed for time or don't like reading about all the research stuff that went into the development of the method, read the last chapter which is a narrative of how a woman trains her son. It's a fictional composite of many real life examples and shows how the day of training should go. It's very detailed. I had Andy read it after I read the whole book so that he'd understand the process and could step in where needed on training day.)
The first step was determining if Levi was ready. Could he stay dry for significant periods of time, could he follow a series of directions? Did he have enough language understanding skills? Yes, he was ready according to the book.
We assembled all the necessary items, according to the book. A baby doll that can drink and wet, a potty chair with a removable bowl, a lot of drinks and snacks for training day, a list of "Friends Who Care" about Levi being a big boy, easy-up training underwear.
We talked up "Big Potty Day" for several weeks. We scheduled this day to be a Saturday when both Andy and I could be home, completely dedicated to potty training, with no other big events nearby on the calendar. I told Levi it would be so nice when he could finally get rid of the diapers and use the potty. We got a few "big boy potty" type picture books. We showed him how we use the potty. The night before, we went to the grocery store and let him pick out the snacks and drinks we'd use for Big Potty Day. He was *thrilled* to be able to get whatever he wanted from the snack aisle. This was also one of my favorite parts. ;)
After breakfast on Big Potty Day, we took off his diaper and helped him get into his new Spiderman underwear. He was in charge of actually doing the pulling up, something he had never done before. I was to verbally instruct him on how to pull up the underwear, how to grasp the band in the front and back, bend his knees and pull. If he didn't do what I told him after a moment, I'd guide his hands into the correct motion and remove my hands as soon as he started to do it correctly. Yes, it's really hard to watch a toddler try to dress himself and not help, but this is a key part of the method. The child is to be responsible for all that they do in the potty process.
Then, I offer him his drinks to make his bladder full. While he drinks, I show him how his dolly can drink too. When dolly drinks, she needs to pee. I show how the dolly will run quickly to the potty, pull down her pants, sit, pee, pull up pants, empty the pot, flush the toilet and wash her hands. Now Levi has to show the doll how to do the whole process. This teaching part of the method is to help reinforce the learning. After we do this, we check that dolly's pants are dry. Yay for dolly! She has dry pants! We give her a treat for being dry.
We check again in five minutes. Oh no, dolly is wet. She had an accident. We love dolly, but we do NOT like wet pants. She has to practice running to the potty.
Now Levi gets his turn to practice. Every five minutes, we do a dry pants check. Yay for dry pants, you get a treat. Oh no, Levi had an accident. You immediately say no loudly, tell him how much we do NOT like wet pants. We love you very much, but we do not like wet pants. Your friends care about you very much, but they do not like wet pants either. He has to practice 10 times how to run quickly to the potty, pull down pants, sit down, immediately stand back up, pull up pants and leave the room. Practice from several different spots in the house. If he doesn't run quickly, I guide him to move faster. "You had an accident. We have to practice how to go quickly to the potty so your pants stay dry." Then he has to clean up the wet puddle (yes, this is difficult to watch a toddler do, but important to make them responsible) and then take off wet pants and put on dry ones.
Continue with the dry pants checks every five minutes, and make sure he goes to sit every 15-30 minutes until he has success. He then has to dump the pot into the toilet, flush and wash his hands. Dry pants inspections are rewarded with snacks and more drinks.
I'll tell you, it was a little messy sometimes, but he got the hang of it very quickly. I explained that mommy and daddy won't be telling him when to go to the potty, but that he had to go whenever he felt like he needed to pee in order to keep his pants dry. And somehow or another, it worked! All of a sudden, he left the room and went into the bathroom. "I'm peeing in the potty!" he shouts out to us. At lunch time, he interrupted his own lunch time to get down and go pee. The dry pants inspections became less frequent and turned into more casual remarks about "wow, it's so nice to have dry pants. You're such a big boy." We also frequently referenced all the Friends Who Care, saying how much they like big boys with dry pants and how proud they are of Levi. We got to call a few friends to tell them of our progress. I think this aspect of societal pressure/praise/expectations really helped Levi see the importance of becoming potty trained. It also helped that Levi thought he was talking to Boz, a cartoon bear, on the phone. (Switched Daddy's profile picture on my phone... Daddy does a very convincing Boz voice, apparently!)
On the following days, training follow up is continued with less and less frequent dry pants checks. We are on day four now and haven't had an accident since day two (which was when we were at church and he asked to go, but couldn't figure out how to get up on the miniature toilet in the kid room by himself). And prepare yourself for parental TMI, but he's also been successful with the #2 on the potty now, as well. He has been wearing real underwear since training day, and wearing pull-ups (which we call nighttime underwear) for naps and nighttime, but even those have been dry.
So there you have it, the results of our one-day potty training. I wouldn't have thought it possible unless I had done it myself. I'm still a little on edge when it comes to how to navigate this new underwear world, especially when it comes to going out in public, but just like any other parenting milestone, we'll find our new normal soon. Until then, I have swapped out those size 5 diapers in my bag for a ziploc of backup clothes. ;)
