Friday, November 16, 2012
a day to myself
I truly enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I won't go into all the reasons here right now, but I do love it. But just like with any paying job, there are some days you'd just really like a break. Especially while nursing a baby, the "I can't go anywhere away from the baby for more than three hours at a time without planning ahead" thing can wear on you a bit. So yesterday my hubby awarded me with a blissful day of doing whatever I wanted to do. He took the day off work and completely left me to my own devices. This is how I filled my day.
1. Wake up and nurse Wendy. Let her hang out with me in bed while Andy and Levi go out to get breakfast and bring it home. Eat my bagel and cream cheese, drink my coffee while I stay in bed and watch "Clueless." (It was the only thing on Netflix that seemed mindless, fun, and short enough.) It's been a while since I've just sat a watched a whole movie straight.
2. While I wait for Wendy to wake up from her morning nap, I read several chapters of Genesis.
3. Nurse Wendy and then leave for my afternoon of freedom.
4. Go to TJ Maxx to get Andy a new belt, new throw pillows for the couch and a basket for the magazines we keep on the dining table. Something about buying a decorative, functional basket makes the organizer within me sing. Stop at the Christian bookstore and buy a really sweet nativity advent calendar... each day we take one character out of the pocket and build up the nativity scene.
5. Drive to Panera for lunch by myself with my Kindle book. Of course, the woman next to me ends up having a baby girl Wendy's age, so I spend most of the time thinking of my sweet baby instead of reading my book.
6. Go to the toystore across from Panera just because I can. It's a great place to get ideas, but way overpriced.
7. Go to AC Moore to buy goodies for decorating my Thanksgiving table. Somehow I end up with six sheets of paper, a can of spray paint, and some raffia. Yeah, not sure how this'll all work out!
8. Go to Home Goods and fall in love with a rug. Decide that 100% wool is not a good idea because it keeps shedding on me. Console myself with buying another basket that'll be used for the books and magazines we keep in Levi's "quiet corner" -- the place we send him when he's being too loud and needs to take a chill pill.
9. Catch up with two friends and my mom on my phone while driving to and fro. (I have a hands-free headset.)
10. Go home, nurse Wendy and get dressed for exercise class. Pilox my butt off. That would be pilates and boxing moves. I likely looked like a fool, but I was so busy trying to keep up that I didn't have time to care. My arms feel like rubber noodles afterwards.
11. Go home, eat the wonderful dinner Andy cooked... homemade Chicago-style stuffed pizza! It was amazing. I can't believe we haven't tried to make this at home before. I'm told the kitchen was covered in flour several times during the day, but there is no mess to be seen. What a gift.
12. Put the kids to bed and then go to my haircut appointment that just happened to line up with my "me" day.
13. Come home (again!) and finally get to spend time with Andy.
What a crazy me day. It felt really good to break my routine for just a day and I know the kids and Andy all enjoyed their time together. All these little things I did felt like such a luxury, but I'm glad to be back to my regular routine again today. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
the reason i like friday the thirteenths
Three years ago today was Friday, November 13. That morning before I went to work, I took a pregnancy test and saw a bright blue plus sign. I spent the rest of the day walking around with that same weird gliding feeling you get after roller skating all day.
And that is why anytime a Friday the 13th rolls around, I just smile.
Friday, November 9, 2012
a week with four kids
My dear friend Lesley was brave and kind enough to make the six-hour drive from her home in West Virginia to visit for the week. Oh, and she has two kids to bring along! Her oldest is 13 days younger than my Levi, and her baby is 31 days older than my Wendy. It was a fully, crazy, fun house. Here are some tidbits from the week.
1. Mommy brain is a real thing. The constant "I have to pay attention to these little human beings to make sure no one is in danger or making a bad behavior choice or needs anything" puts a serious toll on your ability to have a linear conversation! We say "what was I saying?" at least four times every hour.
2. It's important to take embarrassing pictures of your toddlers running around in diapers so you can show them to their prom dates later.
3. One baby laughing is adorable. Two babies laughing is unbearably cute.
4. Sharing is really hard to do and is also hard to define. When you have to give someone a toy and "share" it with them, that can make you sad. When you get to have the toy because someone is "sharing" it with you, you are happy. Very confusing concept, but very important.
5. Moms need other moms in order to feel the encouragement and motivation necessary to leave the house.
6. Bedtime is the best, best time of the day. Those few hours after the kids go to bed are priceless.
7. High fives are very important. Even moms need them after successfully loading four kids and two strollers into a minivan.
8. It's really amazing to watch your toddler actually enjoy having a friend over. When Levi was a baby, playdates were really about moms getting together. Now Levi can genuinely enjoy the company of a friend his age. It's so cute.
9. If one kid starts yelling or making dinosaur noises, the other kid will probably do the same thing. If one kid wants fruit of bread, the other kid will want fruit or bread too.
10. Shopping with four kids is nearly impossible. But not completely impossible. You never know unless you try.
We had a wonderful week. I can't wait until next time when the girls are mobile! Then things are really going to be interesting.
1. Mommy brain is a real thing. The constant "I have to pay attention to these little human beings to make sure no one is in danger or making a bad behavior choice or needs anything" puts a serious toll on your ability to have a linear conversation! We say "what was I saying?" at least four times every hour.
2. It's important to take embarrassing pictures of your toddlers running around in diapers so you can show them to their prom dates later.
3. One baby laughing is adorable. Two babies laughing is unbearably cute.
4. Sharing is really hard to do and is also hard to define. When you have to give someone a toy and "share" it with them, that can make you sad. When you get to have the toy because someone is "sharing" it with you, you are happy. Very confusing concept, but very important.
5. Moms need other moms in order to feel the encouragement and motivation necessary to leave the house.
6. Bedtime is the best, best time of the day. Those few hours after the kids go to bed are priceless.
7. High fives are very important. Even moms need them after successfully loading four kids and two strollers into a minivan.
8. It's really amazing to watch your toddler actually enjoy having a friend over. When Levi was a baby, playdates were really about moms getting together. Now Levi can genuinely enjoy the company of a friend his age. It's so cute.
9. If one kid starts yelling or making dinosaur noises, the other kid will probably do the same thing. If one kid wants fruit of bread, the other kid will want fruit or bread too.
10. Shopping with four kids is nearly impossible. But not completely impossible. You never know unless you try.
We had a wonderful week. I can't wait until next time when the girls are mobile! Then things are really going to be interesting.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
seven words that changed my life
There are moments in your life when the words you hear hang in the air, like the words in cartoon speak bubbles.
"You've been accepted."
"Will you marry me?"
"It's a boy."
"It's a girl."
But there are seven words that I will remember for the rest of my life. I hear them exactly ten years ago today. They mark a pivotal moment when I met the man of my dreams. I walked up to him, he shook my hand and said "It's so nice to finally meet you!" I remember that we were outside. The weather in Evanston that day was nice enough for just a fleece jacket. As I walked and talked and heard more about this guy, I thought it sounded like his life was already full enough, that he didn't seem to need another friend, especially some random girl like me.
Ten years later, we have built a life together. I watch as he bends over to take the trash bag full of diapers out of the diaper pail and out to the curb. I see him carry out children into church, one on each arm. I stop what I'm doing to stare at him the first time he wears a sweater each fall beause it reminds me of how he looked that first fall when I met him, exactly ten years ago today.
Those seven words hang in the air. And I love the man who spoke them to me.
"You've been accepted."
"Will you marry me?"
"It's a boy."
"It's a girl."
But there are seven words that I will remember for the rest of my life. I hear them exactly ten years ago today. They mark a pivotal moment when I met the man of my dreams. I walked up to him, he shook my hand and said "It's so nice to finally meet you!" I remember that we were outside. The weather in Evanston that day was nice enough for just a fleece jacket. As I walked and talked and heard more about this guy, I thought it sounded like his life was already full enough, that he didn't seem to need another friend, especially some random girl like me.
Ten years later, we have built a life together. I watch as he bends over to take the trash bag full of diapers out of the diaper pail and out to the curb. I see him carry out children into church, one on each arm. I stop what I'm doing to stare at him the first time he wears a sweater each fall beause it reminds me of how he looked that first fall when I met him, exactly ten years ago today.
Those seven words hang in the air. And I love the man who spoke them to me.
Friday, September 21, 2012
getting out of the house
In the world of parenting, there are good days and there are... difficult days. Today has been a good day, and I'd like to record it so that on one of the other types of days I can look back and remember that this is possible.
So getting out of the house with two little beings can be challenging. Getting out of the house on time in order to be somewhere specific is extra challenging. Today I did that, and I was early. Yes, early. We were early. Ok, so maybe by two minutes, but early! We had our MOPS meeting (mother of preschoolers) today.
I started my morning by getting ready while my wonderful hubby did his morning daddy duty. He gets both kids up, dresses them and feeds Levi his breakfast. Yes, I am very fortunate. By 8:15 a.m. I am downstairs and daddy goes to work.
*Warning, this post will now contain parent topics which will include nursing and diapering. Since this is considered valid dinner conversation at my stage of life, it doesn't bother me.*
Levi is finished with breakfast, Wendy is looking at me with hungry eyes. I check my diaper bag for supplies and split my bag so that Levi has his bag for his classroom and I have mine for me and Wendy. By 8:30 I am nursing her and by 8:35 we are done. For some reason today, Levi very pleasantly just hangs out by my feet while I nurse. He is amused by my open toed shoes and tickling my toes as I move them around. So far so good, Levi is amused by very little this morning. Even when he asks to watch Little Einsteins on TV and I say we don't have time, he accepts the explanation and doesn't whine. Yay!
I tell Levi I am going upstairs to change Wendy. (Sorry daddy, but the backwards onesie isn't going to cut it today. Hah. He usually gets it right, but he is intimidated by girl clothes.) Levi says OK, and I change Wendy.
When I'm finished (8:40), Levi calls upstairs "I poooooop! Change me. Hallway." Excellent. So I go downstairs, put Wendy on her playmat, and change Levi. I run upstairs to dispose of the diaper, and go back downstairs. 8:45.
I get Levi's shoes on his feet, tell him that we can play his new music CD in mommy's big car (that's what we call the van) and he runs over to the door. He waits there because he knows only mommy and daddy open that door. (Same goes for basement door and door to back patio.)
Grab the baby off her playmat, put her in carseat, secure bib over straps (she is a bubbler... likes to get her shirts wet on the front). Pick up car seat, diaper bag, purse (I wear a small cross body purse with my stuff only so I have it easily accessible rather than stuffed in diaper bag), Levi's bag... go open the door for Levi. Put Wendy and gear in car. Show Levi where to put the CD in the car. Load him up. Drive to MOPS. Everyone is happy the whole way there! Fifteen minutes of silence. Well, mommy silence. Mommy silence is anytime there is no talking or crying. There can be radio and two different electronic toys making music at the same time, but mommies know how to not hear that. This mommy silence was enjoyed while Levi listened to his kid music from his music class.
We get to MOPS, unload Levi, unload stroller, unload Wendy in her carseat and unload stuff. If Levi was the type to run away from me in public places, he would have been unloaded last, but he's not, so I am able to keep him with me safely while I unload the rest of the stuff. Levi walks while I push the stroller, and we go into the church building. We walk to Levi's classroom, he starts to say "no" and whine. I don't want any crying, so I tell him if he cries he will make his friend Mr. Ben sad, and we don't want to make Mr. Ben sad, do we? Levi is very empathetic, so he decides to stop crying so that Mr. Ben won't be sad. (Mr. Ben is the classroom worker.) I drop Levi off and head to my MOPS meeting with Wendy.
Wendy naps peacefully while we have our meeting, waking up about 30 minutes in. I take her into my lap, play a little while, change her diaper and then nurse her at the back of the room where there are some comfy couches. She continues to play with me, then she starts breathing deeply like a sleepy little puppy. Soon she is shrinking down and falls asleep in my lap. At the end of the meeting, I transfer her back to her carseat (still sleeping!), stroll her down to pick up Levi, reload everyone and everything into the car, and go home. Again, silent ride with kiddie music. Ahh, bliss.
Levi wants to keep listening to his music, but we are home, so I offer to get the boombox from the basement so he can listen while I make lunch. He says yes, so I unload everyone and everything, go to the basement to get boombox, set him up with his music, and make lunch. Wendy wakes up. I take her out, set her down while I finish, change her diaper, get Levi into his high chair, bring Wendy with me. I eat half my soup and then nurse Wendy at the table. She finishes, I finish my soup, Levi finishes his lunch. From here we move onto naptime (Wendy hangs out on the floor of Levi's room, propped up in the boppy pillow while we read), and all is right with the world! I managed to get out of the house with two kids on time with no whining or crying! This is the trifecta... the triple crown... call it whatever you want, I call it a good day.
So getting out of the house with two little beings can be challenging. Getting out of the house on time in order to be somewhere specific is extra challenging. Today I did that, and I was early. Yes, early. We were early. Ok, so maybe by two minutes, but early! We had our MOPS meeting (mother of preschoolers) today.
I started my morning by getting ready while my wonderful hubby did his morning daddy duty. He gets both kids up, dresses them and feeds Levi his breakfast. Yes, I am very fortunate. By 8:15 a.m. I am downstairs and daddy goes to work.
*Warning, this post will now contain parent topics which will include nursing and diapering. Since this is considered valid dinner conversation at my stage of life, it doesn't bother me.*
Levi is finished with breakfast, Wendy is looking at me with hungry eyes. I check my diaper bag for supplies and split my bag so that Levi has his bag for his classroom and I have mine for me and Wendy. By 8:30 I am nursing her and by 8:35 we are done. For some reason today, Levi very pleasantly just hangs out by my feet while I nurse. He is amused by my open toed shoes and tickling my toes as I move them around. So far so good, Levi is amused by very little this morning. Even when he asks to watch Little Einsteins on TV and I say we don't have time, he accepts the explanation and doesn't whine. Yay!
I tell Levi I am going upstairs to change Wendy. (Sorry daddy, but the backwards onesie isn't going to cut it today. Hah. He usually gets it right, but he is intimidated by girl clothes.) Levi says OK, and I change Wendy.
When I'm finished (8:40), Levi calls upstairs "I poooooop! Change me. Hallway." Excellent. So I go downstairs, put Wendy on her playmat, and change Levi. I run upstairs to dispose of the diaper, and go back downstairs. 8:45.
I get Levi's shoes on his feet, tell him that we can play his new music CD in mommy's big car (that's what we call the van) and he runs over to the door. He waits there because he knows only mommy and daddy open that door. (Same goes for basement door and door to back patio.)
Grab the baby off her playmat, put her in carseat, secure bib over straps (she is a bubbler... likes to get her shirts wet on the front). Pick up car seat, diaper bag, purse (I wear a small cross body purse with my stuff only so I have it easily accessible rather than stuffed in diaper bag), Levi's bag... go open the door for Levi. Put Wendy and gear in car. Show Levi where to put the CD in the car. Load him up. Drive to MOPS. Everyone is happy the whole way there! Fifteen minutes of silence. Well, mommy silence. Mommy silence is anytime there is no talking or crying. There can be radio and two different electronic toys making music at the same time, but mommies know how to not hear that. This mommy silence was enjoyed while Levi listened to his kid music from his music class.
We get to MOPS, unload Levi, unload stroller, unload Wendy in her carseat and unload stuff. If Levi was the type to run away from me in public places, he would have been unloaded last, but he's not, so I am able to keep him with me safely while I unload the rest of the stuff. Levi walks while I push the stroller, and we go into the church building. We walk to Levi's classroom, he starts to say "no" and whine. I don't want any crying, so I tell him if he cries he will make his friend Mr. Ben sad, and we don't want to make Mr. Ben sad, do we? Levi is very empathetic, so he decides to stop crying so that Mr. Ben won't be sad. (Mr. Ben is the classroom worker.) I drop Levi off and head to my MOPS meeting with Wendy.
Wendy naps peacefully while we have our meeting, waking up about 30 minutes in. I take her into my lap, play a little while, change her diaper and then nurse her at the back of the room where there are some comfy couches. She continues to play with me, then she starts breathing deeply like a sleepy little puppy. Soon she is shrinking down and falls asleep in my lap. At the end of the meeting, I transfer her back to her carseat (still sleeping!), stroll her down to pick up Levi, reload everyone and everything into the car, and go home. Again, silent ride with kiddie music. Ahh, bliss.
Levi wants to keep listening to his music, but we are home, so I offer to get the boombox from the basement so he can listen while I make lunch. He says yes, so I unload everyone and everything, go to the basement to get boombox, set him up with his music, and make lunch. Wendy wakes up. I take her out, set her down while I finish, change her diaper, get Levi into his high chair, bring Wendy with me. I eat half my soup and then nurse Wendy at the table. She finishes, I finish my soup, Levi finishes his lunch. From here we move onto naptime (Wendy hangs out on the floor of Levi's room, propped up in the boppy pillow while we read), and all is right with the world! I managed to get out of the house with two kids on time with no whining or crying! This is the trifecta... the triple crown... call it whatever you want, I call it a good day.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
let's play house. you be the daddy and i'll be the mommy.
Almost all the time, I still feel like I'm pretending to be a grown up. Somehow I still feel like this, despite the fact that I've been with Andy for almost ten years now, married for seven, have two kids, have purchased two houses, two cars, become a stay-at-home mom... I still feel like we are pretending!
This past weekend was a four-day weekend for us. One particular moment that stood out to me...
We had piled both kids in the car -- excuse me, the minivan -- and were heading out to a baby store about 40 minutes away to look at double strollers. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get coffee. As we were winding down Algonkian Parkway, each sipping our coffees and reveling in the blissful silence of our car (because with kids, you never know when the silence could erupt, so you bathe in it whenever it comes around), discussing who knows what. I realized that probably 95% of what Andy and I talk about now is completely different than what we talked about when we met ten years ago. We are parents now. REAL parents! Parents who drink coffee on a Saturday morning while going to look at strollers!
In a couple years, I may not remember what we talked about or that we went to lunch afterwards or that we didn't buy a stroller that day. But I think for the rest of my life, I will remember what it felt like to hold that cup of grown-up, parent coffee, look to my left, and see my husband holding his grown-up, parent coffee. And to realize I wouldn't want to play house with anyone else but him.
This past weekend was a four-day weekend for us. One particular moment that stood out to me...
We had piled both kids in the car -- excuse me, the minivan -- and were heading out to a baby store about 40 minutes away to look at double strollers. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get coffee. As we were winding down Algonkian Parkway, each sipping our coffees and reveling in the blissful silence of our car (because with kids, you never know when the silence could erupt, so you bathe in it whenever it comes around), discussing who knows what. I realized that probably 95% of what Andy and I talk about now is completely different than what we talked about when we met ten years ago. We are parents now. REAL parents! Parents who drink coffee on a Saturday morning while going to look at strollers!
In a couple years, I may not remember what we talked about or that we went to lunch afterwards or that we didn't buy a stroller that day. But I think for the rest of my life, I will remember what it felt like to hold that cup of grown-up, parent coffee, look to my left, and see my husband holding his grown-up, parent coffee. And to realize I wouldn't want to play house with anyone else but him.
Monday, August 27, 2012
how's the big brother?
A lot of people ask me how Levi is doing with the new baby. I am happy to report that I think he is a really, really good big brother.
He is generally aware of Wendy's presence. Say she is in the next room, in her bouncy seat asleep while Levi and I are eating lunch. The moment she starts up her stretching, I'm-awake noises, he tells me "wake!" Wendy is awake.
When I ask if Wendy can read a story with us, he says "mm hmm, yeah." He lets me read his naptime story to him with Wendy on the other side of my lap. (Quite the sight, the three of us smooshed in a chair and me trying to turn pages.) A couple times she has slumped over onto his shoulder. Levi is not a particularly cuddly toddler, so I expected him to squirm. Instead, he looked down at her. Looked up. Looked down again, and let her be. When she lost her binky, he gently put it back in her mouth.
Levi understands that Wendy can't eat real food yet because she has no teeth. I am explaining that she has to cry because she can't talk yet. (He has been trying to get her to talk, though. He'll go over to her and just say "talk!") He has been patient when Wendy cries and I say "I need to help Wendy." One time he said "me do it. help Wendy." and he went to her, giggled her bouncy seat and walked away.
Sometimes he brings her toys, he shows her things. When she cries, he doesn't seem too distressed (which is really nice because two crying kids in a car is worse than one). He doesn't get jealous of me holding her, nursing her, etc. Even if he asks me to pick him up and I can't, he accepts my explanation that I can't because my hands are busy.
So all in all, I'm glad that Levi is doing as well or better than I could have expected from a 2-year-old!
He is generally aware of Wendy's presence. Say she is in the next room, in her bouncy seat asleep while Levi and I are eating lunch. The moment she starts up her stretching, I'm-awake noises, he tells me "wake!" Wendy is awake.
When I ask if Wendy can read a story with us, he says "mm hmm, yeah." He lets me read his naptime story to him with Wendy on the other side of my lap. (Quite the sight, the three of us smooshed in a chair and me trying to turn pages.) A couple times she has slumped over onto his shoulder. Levi is not a particularly cuddly toddler, so I expected him to squirm. Instead, he looked down at her. Looked up. Looked down again, and let her be. When she lost her binky, he gently put it back in her mouth.
Levi understands that Wendy can't eat real food yet because she has no teeth. I am explaining that she has to cry because she can't talk yet. (He has been trying to get her to talk, though. He'll go over to her and just say "talk!") He has been patient when Wendy cries and I say "I need to help Wendy." One time he said "me do it. help Wendy." and he went to her, giggled her bouncy seat and walked away.
Sometimes he brings her toys, he shows her things. When she cries, he doesn't seem too distressed (which is really nice because two crying kids in a car is worse than one). He doesn't get jealous of me holding her, nursing her, etc. Even if he asks me to pick him up and I can't, he accepts my explanation that I can't because my hands are busy.
So all in all, I'm glad that Levi is doing as well or better than I could have expected from a 2-year-old!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
the decisions we make
Right now, I'm in a "tired" phase of parenthood. Yes, middle of the night wakings are an obvious contributor to that, and recovery from childbirth, yes. But honestly, we get a decent amount of sleep and I've been lucky to have great help that got me through the first few weeks of recovery. The tiredness I'm thinking of must be a more emotional tired than a physical one. I think the reason this parenting gig can be so tiring is that I feel like every single little move I make has a large amount of reasoning and effort behind it.
It might not be visible to the untrained -- or toddler -- eye, but really, I feel like everything I do in regards to my kids has a hidden reason behind it.
It might not be visible to the untrained -- or toddler -- eye, but really, I feel like everything I do in regards to my kids has a hidden reason behind it.
- No Levi, you cannot have my phone right now (because I know that taking it away while you are in this mood will be more difficult than not giving it to you, because I don't want you to be tethered to the phone).
- Wendy baby, I can't give you your binky while I'm driving (because I can't reach safely and also because I don't want you to expect me to rescue the binky in the car all the time, if it's at all possible to get into a habit at this age).
- Kids, we will talk quietly at bedtime and will not deviate much from the routines we set into place (because we know you like routines and because we believe a quiet routine will help you sleep better).
- When I make a promise (like the promise that we will go to naptime in two minutes or the promise that we will watch a video as soon as we clean up toys), I will keep it (because I want my kids to trust me and understand follow-through).
- I will make my own baby food for Wendy, as I did for Levi (because I enjoy cooking, I want her and Levi to see their parents cooking food at home so they learn how, because I found that Levi made the transition to healthy table food easily, because I once tasted a jarred turkey dinner baby food and I thought it tasted like dog food).
- I am going to make a commitment to keeping the house tidy and "clean" as much as is possible (because I don't buy into the "the dust will remain, but your kids will grow up" mentality, because we all live in this house and deserve it to be enjoyable, because I stay home with the kids all day and staring at clutter all day doesn't help me, because eventually it will catch up to us if we don't).
I can't even think of all the examples right now, but it seems each moment is another choice in this choose-your-own-adventure thing we call parenting. I wish I could just eenie-meenie-miny-mo sometimes, but I just can't. I don't torture myself with the decisions I make or find myself wrestling with regret, but that's where a lot of my brain power goes these days. I have experienced the true cause of mommy brain!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
not all hearts and flowers
Lest my paintbrush be laden with too rosy a hue, allow me to paint a picture of motherhood that comes from the -- what shall we call it? -- less glamorous side of the business.
The lunch and naptime routine has been stressing me out recently. What am I supposed to do with the baby while I make lunch, feed/supervise toddler, and then put toddler down for his nap? If she's sleeping peacefully, that's great. But what if she's hungry? Or just plain fussy? I've managed for the past couple of days with a variety of techniques, and today I thought I was going to pull off the naptime routine while the baby was napping downstairs. No such luck. As soon as I pull Levi out of his high chair, I realize the clock is ticking so I give him his two minute warning. I think he realizes this is out of the ordinary, because he usually gets to play an extra 15 minutes while I clean up from lunch. But today I want him to go straight to nap so that I can get back downstairs before Wendy wakes up.
Two minute warning is up, so I tell him to go upstairs. "NOOOooo!" He does NOT want to go upstairs. Now, if I were able to haul his 28 pounds up the stairs, I would and he would probably be ok with it. But I'm not going to do it since I'm still sore from the whole c-section thing and overdoing it will just put me further behind on recovery. So the battle of wills begins, and then Levi just starts crying. And crying and whining and generally carrying on. I decide that I'm just going to leave the room and let him finish his crying business before we try again.
At this point, Wendy is definitely waking up and Levi is just wailing. I sit with Wendy until the noise from Levi subsides. I peek around the corner and see that he's now busying himself with wiping his nose (running from the crying) on his shirt. I'm not a fan of that, but I decide to wait it out until he's really done with his fit. Soon he rounds the corner, calling "mommy" very pathetically. I'm busy trying to change a poopy baby diaper, when I turn around and see that Levi's face is covered in blood. He points to his nose and says "bug" (which means he was trying to dislodge something up there). He was wiping so hard with his shirt, he gave himself a bloody nose. Poopy baby. Bloody toddler. Sigh.
Eventually, after I clean him off and remind him to tell mommy about the bugs rather than taking matters into his own hands, I get him up the stairs. He's very tired for nap at this point, so the stairs takes a while. Wendy is in the baby carrier strapped to my chest. We get to Levi's room, I unstrap Wendy and put her on the floor with a binky. Put Levi on changing table. Wendy spits out binky. Re-binky Wendy. Change Levi. Wash hands. Re-binky Wendy. Put Levi in nap clothes. Put Levi in rocking chair. Get Wendy into her room and swaddle her like a burrito. Turn on noise machine. Go to Levi and read a story. (Good thing he picks a very sweet, endearing story about big brothers.) Put Levi down in his crib (which requires me maneuvering him as well I can by using mostly arm muscles, minimal ab muscles). Go get Wendy, take her downstairs and nurse her.
Sigh. Must remember to accentuate the positive moments rather than the toddler fits and bloody noses. Must remember the moment instead when I asked if Levi wanted to hold Wendy, he said yes, then proceeded to hold up his shirt for her and say "milk." Much cuter moment for the day. Let's try to remember that one instead.
Monday, July 30, 2012
the second time around
We are three weeks into the family of four thing! We also just celebrated Levi's second birthday. To commemorate the day, we also pulled out the DVD of videos we took throughout his first year. Oh my goodness, was that first birthday party only one year ago!? And do all those things really happen in the first year? It was a good refresher, actually, to see what babies do during their first year. I totally forgot about the phase where Levi would lay on his back and grasp toys between his feet. I also forgot how stubborn he was about walking... he cruised and held onto furniture and walls from about 9 months through 15 months. And now, with Wendy, we get to do it all over again.
When people ask us "so, how's it going?" Andy and I both tend to answer the same way: "The second one is so much easier!" We can't really decide how much of that is due to forgetfulness of what life was like two years ago versus us being more relaxed about parenting now that we've done it once before, but here's some of the things we have found easier:
1) The birth. I never wrote up a birth story for Levi (maybe I'll do that one day), but Wendy's birth was so much easier.
2) The recovery. I was able to walk myself out of the hospital this time rather than having to ride a wheelchair to the door. Of course, I'm still in the first six-week recovery window, but it's generally been easier this time around.
3) The scheduling. With Levi, it felt so impossible to get ourselves out of the house around a nursing, diapering, sleeping schedule. Now, we've managed to get out of the house (and ON TIME!) to various things like church, doctor's appointments, dinner out, without freaking out.
4) The crying. When the baby cries, of course, we comfort her, but I don't feel the same "oh my goodness, what if this is the time when she never, ever stops and becomes one of those severe colic babies?" dread that I felt last time. True, there are no guarantees that Wendy won't be a complete fuss bottom, but what's the point in worrying about it?
5) The nursing. So. much. easier. Again, how much of that is second baby syndrome versus I know what I'm doing this time versus these just being different kids who nurse differently? All I know is that the first four to six weeks of nursing Levi were so all consuming, so difficult and frankly painful. When I was watching a video of me in the hospital with Levi, I heard Andy say "I think he'd be ready to eat again if you're ready." I replied in a very serious tone "I'm not." This time, with Wendy, there's been no pain or struggle. When she's hungry, she eats.
6) The life transition. With Levi, I went from being a full time employee to a woman on maternity leave figuring out what motherhood was going to look like. This time, I went from being a mother of one to a mother of two. I have some of the mommy things already figured out, like which playgrounds have good shade, how to pack up a diaper bag for a playdate or what kind of music will make my kids happy.
I'm sure there are more things, but for now that's my list. Today is my first day at home with both kids without the help of my mom who was here for the first three weeks. We'll see how this goes. ;)
When people ask us "so, how's it going?" Andy and I both tend to answer the same way: "The second one is so much easier!" We can't really decide how much of that is due to forgetfulness of what life was like two years ago versus us being more relaxed about parenting now that we've done it once before, but here's some of the things we have found easier:
1) The birth. I never wrote up a birth story for Levi (maybe I'll do that one day), but Wendy's birth was so much easier.
2) The recovery. I was able to walk myself out of the hospital this time rather than having to ride a wheelchair to the door. Of course, I'm still in the first six-week recovery window, but it's generally been easier this time around.
3) The scheduling. With Levi, it felt so impossible to get ourselves out of the house around a nursing, diapering, sleeping schedule. Now, we've managed to get out of the house (and ON TIME!) to various things like church, doctor's appointments, dinner out, without freaking out.
4) The crying. When the baby cries, of course, we comfort her, but I don't feel the same "oh my goodness, what if this is the time when she never, ever stops and becomes one of those severe colic babies?" dread that I felt last time. True, there are no guarantees that Wendy won't be a complete fuss bottom, but what's the point in worrying about it?
5) The nursing. So. much. easier. Again, how much of that is second baby syndrome versus I know what I'm doing this time versus these just being different kids who nurse differently? All I know is that the first four to six weeks of nursing Levi were so all consuming, so difficult and frankly painful. When I was watching a video of me in the hospital with Levi, I heard Andy say "I think he'd be ready to eat again if you're ready." I replied in a very serious tone "I'm not." This time, with Wendy, there's been no pain or struggle. When she's hungry, she eats.
6) The life transition. With Levi, I went from being a full time employee to a woman on maternity leave figuring out what motherhood was going to look like. This time, I went from being a mother of one to a mother of two. I have some of the mommy things already figured out, like which playgrounds have good shade, how to pack up a diaper bag for a playdate or what kind of music will make my kids happy.
I'm sure there are more things, but for now that's my list. Today is my first day at home with both kids without the help of my mom who was here for the first three weeks. We'll see how this goes. ;)
Saturday, July 14, 2012
wendy's birth story
Where do I begin? My first baby was born via csection after 12 days of prodromal labor (extended, painful early labor that doesn't help you progress) and then 18 hours in the hospital after my water broke. I got stuck at 8-9 centimeters dilated even with medical help, so c-section it was! When I got pregnant again, we had to decide whether to attempt a delivery the regular way or to continue with a repeat c-section. After much debating, praying and researching, Andy and I decided that I would undergo another c-section.
How strange to "schedule" your baby's birthday, but that's what we found ourselves doing. July 10 at 7:30 a.m. our baby girl was scheduled to arrive. That was a Tuesday. We were supposed to get to the hospital at 5:30 a.m., get all our paperwork straightened out, then walk myself into the operating room and lay down. Well, our baby girl had other plans!
On Friday, July 6, I was busy making the most of my last day of "work." This was the last day I was going to be a stay-at-home mom to an only child. Somehow this made me a little nervous, because my laboring with Levi began on my last day of work at my former job. Could it possibly happen again? Nooo... I mean, I had been experiencing a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions. Seems like my uterus didn't get the memo that it didn't need to practice laboring. That afternoon, while Levi was napping. I was working on my anniversary gift to Andy for our seventh anniversary. Each year I write a letter about our year and turn it into several digital scrapbook pages with pictures. Three typed pages later, I had finished my letter. Man what a year! We started with a one-year-old's birthday party, sold our house, bought a house, and did so much in between. Just reviewing it exhausted me! I ended the letter with "P.S. I won't be proofreading this year's letter because the longer I sit at the desk, the more Braxton Hicks contractions I get." I thought that sitting at the computer and reliving all the crazy events of the year was just making me a little uncomfortable, and as soon as I relaxed a little, the contractions would slow down. But instead, they started to get more uncomfortable. By the time Andy got home at 5:30, they were pretty much painful. At first, I didn't tell him anything was going on. Can we say "denial"??
Eventually I fessed up, and we decided to just keep an eye on things. Well, things started to pick up. I downloaded a contraction timer app on my Kindle Fire, and found that I was contracting for one minute at a time, every three to five minutes. Not only that, but they were becoming more and more painful. I had to stop each time and was losing the ability to talk through them. Uh oh. We put Levi to bed, probably one of the most emotional moments of the night. I read him a story about becoming a big brother and explained to him that we might not be there in the morning, but that Mommom would be and that we would be back. Deep breaths. At this point we call the doctor, she says we can wait an hour or we can come in now. I know that if we go in, we likely won't be leaving without having a baby. I spend a little time semi-freaking out about all the stuff I had planned for our last weekend. Our anniversary celebration. Time with Levi. Taking a bath in my brand new master bathroom. Finishing the last few things on my to-do list. Then the pain took over and I lost interest in freaking out. Andy grabbed my hospital bag packing list that I had already printed out and we began throwing stuff into a suitcase. Thank goodness I had already made that list. The contractions are starting to take over and each time, more and more expletives start flying out of my mouth. I tried to think of something more positive to say, but nope... I turned into a sailor. By the time Andy's sister arrived to stay with Levi, I was "vocalizing" quite loudly on the couch. One big contraction, then I felt this hard snap inside me. I stood up to get in the car, and my water breaks allllll over the floor. Yay for hardwood floors. I apologize to my sister-in-law for leaving her with a mess, and we get into the truck. (The other car is currently at the shop... one more thing that was on our to-do list for the lost weekend.)
On our way to the hospital, the contractions are absolutely miserable. I try making a few phone calls, but with each contraction I chuck the phone in Andy's general direction and try not to be too loud. We get there in record time and I drag myself into the waiting room with a towel between my legs. All dignity lost at this point. Another pregnant lady waiting to be checked in waves me onward ahead of her.
We explain to the nurse that we've already talked to our doctor, we were scheduled for a c-section Tuesday, and she cuts me off... "Why are you having a c-section? Do you want a VBAC?" Lady, now is not the time to question my judgement, I think to myself. All I wanted was for her to check my cervix for dilation because if I was already at 6 or 7 centimeters like I thought I must be, then maybe we'd talk to the doctor. She tries to check me, but apparently everything is still so high up, she can't even reach me. Not a good sign. She calls in another nurse who confirms that I'm barely dilated 2 centimeters. You have got to be kidding me. We talk with the doctor a little more and decide to proceed with our plan to have a c-section.
Meanwhile, I have turned into Wolverine during my contractions. Andy reminds me that my nails are very long. Apparently I've broken skin on his hand. I've also managed to scratch his face and nearly bit his arm. I also attempted to dislocate the thumb of the mean nurse. Oops. They give me some kind of narcotic to "relax" me. I still feel the pain, but I seem to have lost the ability to claw and curse. I think this drug is more for their benefit than for mine!
By 11:30, the operating room and my doctor are ready. I curl up over the edge of the table to receive my epidural and spinal injection. One more big contraction during the procedure (absolute torture to sit still through!) and then my legs start to get warm. They lay me down and things start to go numb. Ahhh, bliss. They continue with the preparation work, draping a curtain between my head and the rest of my body. They lay some sort of warming blow-up tent over my arms to keep me warm since the room is so cold. I have the anesthesiologist check me twice to be sure I'm really, really numb. (With Levi, my epidural wasn't a complete block on my pain and they knocked me out shortly after Levi was born.) I keep asking over and over when Andy will be let into the room, and finally he makes his way in. Just a few minutes later, they warn me that I will feel some big tugging and pressure as they pull the baby out. Sure enough, I feel like a weight is being lifted out of me. In these final moments of my pregnancy, I realize that I will know for sure very soon that I have a daughter. "Is it a girl?" I ask. Yes, it's a girl! The doctor invites Andy to peek over the curtain as she is being pulled out. Instead, he stands and just aims the camera. He actually got a picture of the baby being pulled from my body! She cries like a little goat, and Andy tells me she has dark brown hair. The doctor takes her and immediately brings her around the curtain so I can see her in her natural born state, before she's all cleaned up. For some reason, this moment is really important to me as I memorize the sight of her red, squirmy body. Wendy Harsany Simpson, welcome to the world. It's 12:18 a.m. and she weighs 7 pounds, 6 ounces. She is 20 inches long.
They take Wendy over to be checked out and I'm just elated to have been so aware and awake for her birth. I have told the anesthesiologist that I don't want any more medication that would relax me for the stitching up process. I want to be sure that I'm fully awake once I'm out of recovery and get ahold of Wendy. At this point I finally keep my eyes open. (They have been closed from the time I entered triage until the moment Wendy came out, pretty much.) I feel every tug and pull as the doctor stitches up each of my layers. I hear the nurses counting off the tools with each layer. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, ten. And so on. It doesn't seem to take very long to put me back together. I later learn that my uterus was so paper thin, that it tore perpendicularly from the cut that the doctor made, as she pulled the baby out. Knowing this bit of information makes me feel even more confident in the decision we made for a repeat c-section.
After I am finished with the surgery, they scoot me off the table onto another bed and wheel me into recovery. I basically twiddle my thumbs for the next hour, waiting and waiting with wide eyes until I can be reunited with Andy and Wendy. Finally it is time. They wheel my bed out of recovery, ram me into a wall on the way out (ouch) and get me to my room. Wendy is wheeled in on her little baby cart and placed into my arms. She's so soft and warm, like a little sleepy puppy. Her hair is so silky and her little feet are so wrinkly. I love her for what she is and for what she may become. I love her for being a little sister and for making me a mother of two. I love her for allowing me to see Andy as the father of a little girl. And most of all, I love her simply because she was once part of me and that thread will never be broken.
How strange to "schedule" your baby's birthday, but that's what we found ourselves doing. July 10 at 7:30 a.m. our baby girl was scheduled to arrive. That was a Tuesday. We were supposed to get to the hospital at 5:30 a.m., get all our paperwork straightened out, then walk myself into the operating room and lay down. Well, our baby girl had other plans!
On Friday, July 6, I was busy making the most of my last day of "work." This was the last day I was going to be a stay-at-home mom to an only child. Somehow this made me a little nervous, because my laboring with Levi began on my last day of work at my former job. Could it possibly happen again? Nooo... I mean, I had been experiencing a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions. Seems like my uterus didn't get the memo that it didn't need to practice laboring. That afternoon, while Levi was napping. I was working on my anniversary gift to Andy for our seventh anniversary. Each year I write a letter about our year and turn it into several digital scrapbook pages with pictures. Three typed pages later, I had finished my letter. Man what a year! We started with a one-year-old's birthday party, sold our house, bought a house, and did so much in between. Just reviewing it exhausted me! I ended the letter with "P.S. I won't be proofreading this year's letter because the longer I sit at the desk, the more Braxton Hicks contractions I get." I thought that sitting at the computer and reliving all the crazy events of the year was just making me a little uncomfortable, and as soon as I relaxed a little, the contractions would slow down. But instead, they started to get more uncomfortable. By the time Andy got home at 5:30, they were pretty much painful. At first, I didn't tell him anything was going on. Can we say "denial"??
Eventually I fessed up, and we decided to just keep an eye on things. Well, things started to pick up. I downloaded a contraction timer app on my Kindle Fire, and found that I was contracting for one minute at a time, every three to five minutes. Not only that, but they were becoming more and more painful. I had to stop each time and was losing the ability to talk through them. Uh oh. We put Levi to bed, probably one of the most emotional moments of the night. I read him a story about becoming a big brother and explained to him that we might not be there in the morning, but that Mommom would be and that we would be back. Deep breaths. At this point we call the doctor, she says we can wait an hour or we can come in now. I know that if we go in, we likely won't be leaving without having a baby. I spend a little time semi-freaking out about all the stuff I had planned for our last weekend. Our anniversary celebration. Time with Levi. Taking a bath in my brand new master bathroom. Finishing the last few things on my to-do list. Then the pain took over and I lost interest in freaking out. Andy grabbed my hospital bag packing list that I had already printed out and we began throwing stuff into a suitcase. Thank goodness I had already made that list. The contractions are starting to take over and each time, more and more expletives start flying out of my mouth. I tried to think of something more positive to say, but nope... I turned into a sailor. By the time Andy's sister arrived to stay with Levi, I was "vocalizing" quite loudly on the couch. One big contraction, then I felt this hard snap inside me. I stood up to get in the car, and my water breaks allllll over the floor. Yay for hardwood floors. I apologize to my sister-in-law for leaving her with a mess, and we get into the truck. (The other car is currently at the shop... one more thing that was on our to-do list for the lost weekend.)
On our way to the hospital, the contractions are absolutely miserable. I try making a few phone calls, but with each contraction I chuck the phone in Andy's general direction and try not to be too loud. We get there in record time and I drag myself into the waiting room with a towel between my legs. All dignity lost at this point. Another pregnant lady waiting to be checked in waves me onward ahead of her.
We explain to the nurse that we've already talked to our doctor, we were scheduled for a c-section Tuesday, and she cuts me off... "Why are you having a c-section? Do you want a VBAC?" Lady, now is not the time to question my judgement, I think to myself. All I wanted was for her to check my cervix for dilation because if I was already at 6 or 7 centimeters like I thought I must be, then maybe we'd talk to the doctor. She tries to check me, but apparently everything is still so high up, she can't even reach me. Not a good sign. She calls in another nurse who confirms that I'm barely dilated 2 centimeters. You have got to be kidding me. We talk with the doctor a little more and decide to proceed with our plan to have a c-section.
Meanwhile, I have turned into Wolverine during my contractions. Andy reminds me that my nails are very long. Apparently I've broken skin on his hand. I've also managed to scratch his face and nearly bit his arm. I also attempted to dislocate the thumb of the mean nurse. Oops. They give me some kind of narcotic to "relax" me. I still feel the pain, but I seem to have lost the ability to claw and curse. I think this drug is more for their benefit than for mine!
By 11:30, the operating room and my doctor are ready. I curl up over the edge of the table to receive my epidural and spinal injection. One more big contraction during the procedure (absolute torture to sit still through!) and then my legs start to get warm. They lay me down and things start to go numb. Ahhh, bliss. They continue with the preparation work, draping a curtain between my head and the rest of my body. They lay some sort of warming blow-up tent over my arms to keep me warm since the room is so cold. I have the anesthesiologist check me twice to be sure I'm really, really numb. (With Levi, my epidural wasn't a complete block on my pain and they knocked me out shortly after Levi was born.) I keep asking over and over when Andy will be let into the room, and finally he makes his way in. Just a few minutes later, they warn me that I will feel some big tugging and pressure as they pull the baby out. Sure enough, I feel like a weight is being lifted out of me. In these final moments of my pregnancy, I realize that I will know for sure very soon that I have a daughter. "Is it a girl?" I ask. Yes, it's a girl! The doctor invites Andy to peek over the curtain as she is being pulled out. Instead, he stands and just aims the camera. He actually got a picture of the baby being pulled from my body! She cries like a little goat, and Andy tells me she has dark brown hair. The doctor takes her and immediately brings her around the curtain so I can see her in her natural born state, before she's all cleaned up. For some reason, this moment is really important to me as I memorize the sight of her red, squirmy body. Wendy Harsany Simpson, welcome to the world. It's 12:18 a.m. and she weighs 7 pounds, 6 ounces. She is 20 inches long.
They take Wendy over to be checked out and I'm just elated to have been so aware and awake for her birth. I have told the anesthesiologist that I don't want any more medication that would relax me for the stitching up process. I want to be sure that I'm fully awake once I'm out of recovery and get ahold of Wendy. At this point I finally keep my eyes open. (They have been closed from the time I entered triage until the moment Wendy came out, pretty much.) I feel every tug and pull as the doctor stitches up each of my layers. I hear the nurses counting off the tools with each layer. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, ten. And so on. It doesn't seem to take very long to put me back together. I later learn that my uterus was so paper thin, that it tore perpendicularly from the cut that the doctor made, as she pulled the baby out. Knowing this bit of information makes me feel even more confident in the decision we made for a repeat c-section.
After I am finished with the surgery, they scoot me off the table onto another bed and wheel me into recovery. I basically twiddle my thumbs for the next hour, waiting and waiting with wide eyes until I can be reunited with Andy and Wendy. Finally it is time. They wheel my bed out of recovery, ram me into a wall on the way out (ouch) and get me to my room. Wendy is wheeled in on her little baby cart and placed into my arms. She's so soft and warm, like a little sleepy puppy. Her hair is so silky and her little feet are so wrinkly. I love her for what she is and for what she may become. I love her for being a little sister and for making me a mother of two. I love her for allowing me to see Andy as the father of a little girl. And most of all, I love her simply because she was once part of me and that thread will never be broken.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
the things people say
As I am in my last week of pregnancy with this baby girl, I thought I'd sum up some of the odd things people like to say to me as a pregnant woman. I find it amusing how there is so little filtered out of people when they are confronted with a pregnant woman!
1. After looking at my size... "is it a boy? No? A girl? Well, maybe she'll be a tomboy."
2. "I figured you were either having twins or were ready to pop!"
3. "well, you are looking good. You haven't dropped yet." says a man after staring ay too intently.
4. "oh you are never going to make it another month. No, really, you won't."
5. "may I?" and then after not waiting for an answer, man begins to poke my popped out belly button through my shirt. Awkward!!!
Oh people, they sure are amusing sometimes. ;)
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
the baby girl's dresser
This is something I've always wanted to do... take a piece of furniture from Craigslist and transform it. We bought this dresser for $45 off Craigstlist back in March.
It was really solid wood with this stripey pattern on the tops and sides.
First I removed all the hardware and filled the holes with wood filler.
Then I had to sand. Yay for my new orbital sander I got from my brother and sister-in-law for my birthday! Face mask, eye goggles and ear plugs, oh my!
Here's a sanding-in-progress shot.
The little sander collected a LOT of dust in its little vacuum bag that I emptied into a tin.
Then we had to prime. Two coats of primer. (My mom had to do this part because of the fumes. Used a foam roller and did two coats.)
Priming almost done.
Then onto painting. I used my favorite Benjamin Moore Natura paint because it has zero VOCs and I'm allowed to work with it. The color is Sweet Butter 171.
Then I positioned these bird wall decals I got for $24 on Amazon. I had extras that I even gave away afterwards. I thought about putting them up on the walls, but I already have plans for the walls and as my mom said, you don't want too much of a good thing.
Bird decals are placed, then we did knobs and...
Ta da!!! The dresser is done and in the nursery. I love how pink looks with yellow.
lots of work in progress
I find myself starting up one project, realizing I have another project to do and starting up another without finishing the first. This week I am trying to tie up some loose ends! Here's a list of some of the works in progress:
- baby girl's refinished dresser (it's all done except for getting drawer dividers! I will take and post pictures soon)
- baby girl's wall art thing (hard to describe, but I think it'll look really cute. it'll definitely look cuter on the wall than on my dining room table!)
- hanging up a coat rack in the hallway to keep my diaper bag and purse
- hanging up a few pictures around the house and moving the rest of the framed artwork to the basement, out of the way from the dining and living rooms
- finishing cleaning out the garage... all we need is one more shelving unit to put a few more things on. it's so nice to have a home for the new mini-van!
My running lists of things to do have definitely been getting a workout. I have about five more weeks of nesting mode to get things done before the baby arrives. And guess what? If it doesn't get done before the baby arrives, I'll still be able to get them done at some point! Shocker... I have to remember that.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
telling stories
I think we are entering a really awesome new stage with Levi. Suddenly it seems he's really into recalling memories of events that have happened either earlier during the day or a few days ago. And using his limited little vocabulary, he thoughtfully tells as much as he can. I love it!
We have been enjoying this mostly at dinnertime when daddy is home and we talk about what we did that day. At first, I was doing all the talking.
Me: "So we went to the grocery store..."
Levi pipes up: "Pay!"
Me: "That's right, we did pay at the grocery store! What else did we do there?"
Levi thinks about it and looks around: "'Nack." (Translation: Snack, with no S since he hasn't gotten his S sound yet.)
Me: "That's right, you did eat a snack!"
And yes, I do speak with exclamation points. I think it's my favorite piece of punctuation.
Anyway, we are going through a bathroom remodel project, just in the early phases. Yesterday we had one guy do an estimate. He talked a lot, measured the walls and then took pictures. So today, as we are waiting for another estimate man to come, I begin...
Me: "A man is going to come look at mommy and daddy's bathroom very soon."
Levi: "Wall!"
Me: "That's right, he is probably going to measure the walls. What else is he going to do?"
Levi thinks about it, gets a big grin on his face: "Pictures!"
Me: "That's right! He will take some pictures."
Imagine Levi's delight when the man actually did come, measure the walls and take pictures. He will likely also tell this story to daddy over dinner.
I love that Levi seems to enjoy conversation. One of the very first reasons I fell in love with his daddy was because he liked to talk so much. It's so nice to see this trait develop in our little boy, too.
We have been enjoying this mostly at dinnertime when daddy is home and we talk about what we did that day. At first, I was doing all the talking.
Me: "So we went to the grocery store..."
Levi pipes up: "Pay!"
Me: "That's right, we did pay at the grocery store! What else did we do there?"
Levi thinks about it and looks around: "'Nack." (Translation: Snack, with no S since he hasn't gotten his S sound yet.)
Me: "That's right, you did eat a snack!"
And yes, I do speak with exclamation points. I think it's my favorite piece of punctuation.
Anyway, we are going through a bathroom remodel project, just in the early phases. Yesterday we had one guy do an estimate. He talked a lot, measured the walls and then took pictures. So today, as we are waiting for another estimate man to come, I begin...
Me: "A man is going to come look at mommy and daddy's bathroom very soon."
Levi: "Wall!"
Me: "That's right, he is probably going to measure the walls. What else is he going to do?"
Levi thinks about it, gets a big grin on his face: "Pictures!"
Me: "That's right! He will take some pictures."
Imagine Levi's delight when the man actually did come, measure the walls and take pictures. He will likely also tell this story to daddy over dinner.
I love that Levi seems to enjoy conversation. One of the very first reasons I fell in love with his daddy was because he liked to talk so much. It's so nice to see this trait develop in our little boy, too.
Monday, May 21, 2012
David and Goliath
One of Levi's favorite stories from his rhyme bible is the one about David, the scrawny guy who defeats Goliath the giant with God's help and a well-aimed rock to the forehead. In fact, ask Levi what Goliath says when David hits him with a rock. "Ohhhhhgggg," he'll say, with a scrunched up face.
Well, Levi has experienced his own encounter with a rock. This rock, in fact:
This rock is one of his friend's favorite rocks to play with from the rock garden. This friend plays gently, spinning the rock around on the pavement. Levi decides the rock needs to go back into the garden, but instead drops it on his big toe. It took a while for the pain of the boo boo to set in and was exacerbated by Mommy's attempts to put Neosporin and an Elmo band-aid on it. Mommy's interference set him to a-hollering.
Apparently this event has really stuck with Levi. He continues to point to his toe and retell the story as only a 22-month-old can.
Levi, while pointing to toe: "Toe."
Mommy: "What happened to your toe?"
Levi: "Boo boo."
Mommy: "You got a boo boo on your toe?"
Levi: "Rock."
Mommy: "A rock gave you a boo boo on your toe?"
Levi: "Uh huh."
Levi, thinking about it a moment: "Ahh-mohh." (Translation: Then you put that stupid Elmo band-aid on me and made it worse.)
I'm not sure if this ordeal makes him David or Goliath, but I love my son.
Well, Levi has experienced his own encounter with a rock. This rock, in fact:
 |
| (rock near Levi's foot) |
Apparently this event has really stuck with Levi. He continues to point to his toe and retell the story as only a 22-month-old can.
Levi, while pointing to toe: "Toe."
Mommy: "What happened to your toe?"
Levi: "Boo boo."
Mommy: "You got a boo boo on your toe?"
Levi: "Rock."
Mommy: "A rock gave you a boo boo on your toe?"
Levi: "Uh huh."
Levi, thinking about it a moment: "Ahh-mohh." (Translation: Then you put that stupid Elmo band-aid on me and made it worse.)
I'm not sure if this ordeal makes him David or Goliath, but I love my son.
Monday, April 16, 2012
meal planning
There was a time in my life when Andy and I would make dinner plans practically every night on the fly. We'd call each other on the way home from work, figure out what we wanted, then execute on our plan. It probably wasn't the most cost effective way to do things, or the most time efficient, but it worked for a young married couple with no kids.
Fast forward to Levi at 10 months old. We could still mostly get away with this plan because baby food is ridiculously easy to plan for, even when you are making it yourself. Every week or two, I'd make up a big batch of baby food (veggie purees and Levi's favorite, baby bolognese which was basically spaghetti and meat sauce with veggies, also pureed). I'd freeze it into ice cube trays, pop them into a freezer bag and we'd be set for our quick and easy baby food.
Fast forward to today. Now we actually have to plan. Levi eats dinner at 6:00 and I really try to keep him eating a variety of foods. Of course, he'd eat lasagna for a whole week straight (and has been known to do so), but I want to keep his food preferences as varied as possible. Plus, I know that one of the things that stresses my hubby out more than any other household chore is food planning. He doesn't like to make those last minute decisions when there are hungry people to deal with. He likes to know what's coming to him, know that we already have the food in the house. Of course he doesn't complain if there are no plans, but I can almost visibly see him relax when I tell him "we are having chili for dinner" and he walks home to a house smelling like chili ready to eat. As a homemaker, it makes me feel good to provide this sense of stability to him as he provides our family with our financial stability.
All that to say, I have just meal planned ourselves from here until Move Day!! I have a plan for every night between now and the new house. I have to go food shopping again next Monday to get the next round of fresh ingredients, but that'll be easy. Usually I handwrite my meal plan for the week, but this time I typed it. Each day I noted if there was a special evening activity (of which we have many coming up... church events, a wedding for me to run, etc.). Then I wrote the meal. If it was a planned leftover, "Repeat: lasagna". If Levi was going to eat something different than us, I wrote that in parenthesis. I also accounted for take-out plans, like for the day before we move. Boston Market will be preparing our dinner for us.
Phew! That's one more thing taken care of before we move!
Fast forward to Levi at 10 months old. We could still mostly get away with this plan because baby food is ridiculously easy to plan for, even when you are making it yourself. Every week or two, I'd make up a big batch of baby food (veggie purees and Levi's favorite, baby bolognese which was basically spaghetti and meat sauce with veggies, also pureed). I'd freeze it into ice cube trays, pop them into a freezer bag and we'd be set for our quick and easy baby food.
Fast forward to today. Now we actually have to plan. Levi eats dinner at 6:00 and I really try to keep him eating a variety of foods. Of course, he'd eat lasagna for a whole week straight (and has been known to do so), but I want to keep his food preferences as varied as possible. Plus, I know that one of the things that stresses my hubby out more than any other household chore is food planning. He doesn't like to make those last minute decisions when there are hungry people to deal with. He likes to know what's coming to him, know that we already have the food in the house. Of course he doesn't complain if there are no plans, but I can almost visibly see him relax when I tell him "we are having chili for dinner" and he walks home to a house smelling like chili ready to eat. As a homemaker, it makes me feel good to provide this sense of stability to him as he provides our family with our financial stability.
All that to say, I have just meal planned ourselves from here until Move Day!! I have a plan for every night between now and the new house. I have to go food shopping again next Monday to get the next round of fresh ingredients, but that'll be easy. Usually I handwrite my meal plan for the week, but this time I typed it. Each day I noted if there was a special evening activity (of which we have many coming up... church events, a wedding for me to run, etc.). Then I wrote the meal. If it was a planned leftover, "Repeat: lasagna". If Levi was going to eat something different than us, I wrote that in parenthesis. I also accounted for take-out plans, like for the day before we move. Boston Market will be preparing our dinner for us.
Phew! That's one more thing taken care of before we move!
Monday, April 9, 2012
thou shalt not judge
We all do it, no matter how much we hate it. We, as mothers and even before as non-parents, tend to judge the actions of other parents, non-parents, kids, etc. Maybe it's not always a bad thing, more of a comparative thing, but it generally gives us the wrong results. I continue to learn this more and more as I encounter different parenting styles and different kid personalities, and it all makes you realize that every situation is different and we're all going after the same goals --- survival, enrichment, growth and hopefully some fun in there, too.
Today's lesson from the playground. Levi and I are enjoying a lovely playdate with our other friends from MOPS at a playground. It's not too crowded, the sun in shining, everything is great. A yellow school bus pulls up and begins to offload a swarm of bigger, louder kids. Oh great, here some these big kids who are going to overrun the park and trample our little kids. Why do they have to ruin our day?
I was wrong! These kids, while older and faster, were all very well behaved and so considerate of the little kids. Levi actually spent a good half hour befriending a few older boys, maybe first graders, and following them around. They not only tolerated Levi, they embraced him as another kid to play with. The oldest kid patiently let Levi scoop mulch into his hands, let him kick their soccer ball around, even picked him up a few times he fell down and brushed off the mulch. The big kid even took Levi to the small slides and helped him up the stairs and down the slides a few times. It was such a sweet thing to witness, and I regretted my initial negative reaction to this bus of kids. After all, one day Levi will be a big, loud kid riding a school bus and I can only hope that he acts kindly toward those smaller than him.
Today's lesson from the playground. Levi and I are enjoying a lovely playdate with our other friends from MOPS at a playground. It's not too crowded, the sun in shining, everything is great. A yellow school bus pulls up and begins to offload a swarm of bigger, louder kids. Oh great, here some these big kids who are going to overrun the park and trample our little kids. Why do they have to ruin our day?
I was wrong! These kids, while older and faster, were all very well behaved and so considerate of the little kids. Levi actually spent a good half hour befriending a few older boys, maybe first graders, and following them around. They not only tolerated Levi, they embraced him as another kid to play with. The oldest kid patiently let Levi scoop mulch into his hands, let him kick their soccer ball around, even picked him up a few times he fell down and brushed off the mulch. The big kid even took Levi to the small slides and helped him up the stairs and down the slides a few times. It was such a sweet thing to witness, and I regretted my initial negative reaction to this bus of kids. After all, one day Levi will be a big, loud kid riding a school bus and I can only hope that he acts kindly toward those smaller than him.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
in a month
Actually, in less than a month, the Simpsons will have moved into their new home. I'm so very excited that this is happening, but I'm also overwhelmed at all the things that need to get done (or the things I want to get done). Among them:
1) Pack. Obviously. We haven't packed in six years.
2) Choose paint colors. I want Levi's room painted in almost the same blue, but something a little lighter/gray that is more sophisticated for a sophisticated almost-two-year-old boy. Hah. Do you have any idea how many blues there are? And how easy it is to go too gray, too purple or too green? We also want to have the baby girl's paint color picked so they don't clash. And we want to paint the master bedroom. I think we'll stick with the color we have now since it's just so soothing to look at.
3) Think about packing. This goes back to item #1, but I seriously think I'll spend more time THINKING about packing than actually packing. I mentally tally up how much stuff we have in various places around the house and how many boxes will it take.
Well, I guess that's my short list. Short, but big! I'm so glad we are hiring professional movers...
1) Pack. Obviously. We haven't packed in six years.
2) Choose paint colors. I want Levi's room painted in almost the same blue, but something a little lighter/gray that is more sophisticated for a sophisticated almost-two-year-old boy. Hah. Do you have any idea how many blues there are? And how easy it is to go too gray, too purple or too green? We also want to have the baby girl's paint color picked so they don't clash. And we want to paint the master bedroom. I think we'll stick with the color we have now since it's just so soothing to look at.
3) Think about packing. This goes back to item #1, but I seriously think I'll spend more time THINKING about packing than actually packing. I mentally tally up how much stuff we have in various places around the house and how many boxes will it take.
Well, I guess that's my short list. Short, but big! I'm so glad we are hiring professional movers...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
a pancake morning
My morning went something like this:
Me at 7 a.m., immediately after waking up: "I'm hungry. I want pancakes, scrambled eggs and a side of bacon. And coffee. Half decaf."
Andy, not wanting to crush the dreams of his pregnant wife: "Ok, run through the shower and let's go to IHOP."
Me, considering it: "Uhm.... ok."
This was a random Wednesday, we had a coupon for a free kid's breakfast, and Levi loves breakfast. Why not! Levi carried his white bunny, Boo Boo, to the car and into IHOP where Boo Boo needed to sit in the high chair with Levi. That may have been my favorite part.
My second favorite part is the way Levi practically stumbled out of IHOP in his pancake food coma afterwards. He was so preoccupied with looking at all the old men eating their breakfast that he nearly knocked himself down by running into a booth corner. He quickly fixed the situation by looking at Daddy and saying "Up!" Wouldn't it be nice to be carried around whenever you felt like it?
I view these last few months with just Levi in a similar way to the last few days of pre-Levi. That feeling of freedom that comes with knowing your schedule and being able to predict the behaviors of your entire family is something that may leave us again for a few months after this baby girl arrives. How are we going to coordinate the sleeping/eating/needs of two tiny people with our own, and still have random fun while doing it? I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure that there will be a time when mommy wakes up wanting pancakes and we all hop in the car for Random Pancake Wednesday.
Me at 7 a.m., immediately after waking up: "I'm hungry. I want pancakes, scrambled eggs and a side of bacon. And coffee. Half decaf."
Andy, not wanting to crush the dreams of his pregnant wife: "Ok, run through the shower and let's go to IHOP."
Me, considering it: "Uhm.... ok."
This was a random Wednesday, we had a coupon for a free kid's breakfast, and Levi loves breakfast. Why not! Levi carried his white bunny, Boo Boo, to the car and into IHOP where Boo Boo needed to sit in the high chair with Levi. That may have been my favorite part.
My second favorite part is the way Levi practically stumbled out of IHOP in his pancake food coma afterwards. He was so preoccupied with looking at all the old men eating their breakfast that he nearly knocked himself down by running into a booth corner. He quickly fixed the situation by looking at Daddy and saying "Up!" Wouldn't it be nice to be carried around whenever you felt like it?
I view these last few months with just Levi in a similar way to the last few days of pre-Levi. That feeling of freedom that comes with knowing your schedule and being able to predict the behaviors of your entire family is something that may leave us again for a few months after this baby girl arrives. How are we going to coordinate the sleeping/eating/needs of two tiny people with our own, and still have random fun while doing it? I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure that there will be a time when mommy wakes up wanting pancakes and we all hop in the car for Random Pancake Wednesday.
Friday, February 24, 2012
yeah mon
Apparently in Jamaica, they actually do say "yeah mon!" to each other. Part of me wondered if it was all for the benefit of tourists, but everywhere you went, you'd hear it.
Andy and I just got back from a four-day, three-night trip to the all-inclusive Sandals Royal Caribbean resort in Jamaica. It was the first time we've both left Levi overnight (with my parents), and we all were reunited in one piece. Here's my running list of all the wonderful things we encountered:
1. The flight. A 3.5 hour flight without a toddler! What a luxury. For the first time ever, I was able to watch a movie on my own device (Kindle Fire) during the flight. Before Levi, I didn't have an iPad or Kindle Fire. I was able to stretch out the 2-hour "Water for Elephants" that I rented for $4 throughout the whole flight. I also ordered hot tea as my drink, the most un-toddler-friendly thing I could think of.
2. The weather. About 82 during the day, 72 at night. It was never too hot, never too cold. The breeze was friendly and constant. I just loved being outside so much, even if it did result in a few Jamaican mosquito bites including three on my forehead.
3. The trees and birds. Again, I loved being outside the whole time. The huge almond trees on the beach had the most amazing leaves. There was a bird that I never saw, but I thought at first that it was a person yelling "help! help!" I also spotted the Jamaican hummingbird with its long tail feathers. I love hummingbirds.
4. The room and the butler. We were in a butler-serviced suite! That meant we had two butlers (one we only saw a couple times, the other was our main guy). Joshayne and Orlando. Every time Joshayne would ring our bell, he'd call out "It's Joshayne... the but-lerrrrrr." He would set up our beach chairs and towels, bring me nice virgin drinks, make our dinner reservations, bring us snacks... My favorite was when we returned to our room after a long day at the beach (tough life) and he had drawn a rose-petal scented bubble bath and put flowers and candles all over the room! Loved that. The room itself was beautiful and luxurious. If it had rained "liquid sunshine" and we were stuck inside all day, I wouldn't have minded.
5. Getting to know my baby. The early baby movements are easy to miss when you are running around and going about your daily life, but on the first day of vacation, I felt like I got to spend so much time with my little girl. All those fruity cold drinks and time just relaxing... she would move all over the place. The best was when we went to the drum show and she kicked up a little storm while the drums were playing! I loved knowing she could feel and hear some of this world that she'll soon be a part of.
6. Seeing Andy. Vacation is only vacation if my hubby is with me. Just having him by my side was the best part.
7. The baby name game. We went through every single girl name in the 60,000 baby names book we bought for Levi. That's approximately 30,000 names. Unbelievable. We wrote down every name that we didn't have an immediate "no" for. So far, still no official name but we also won't really decide until the birthday anyways.
8. Tie-dye. The resort had a daily schedule of little activities throughout the day and each evening. Aqua aerobics, anyone? They had a tie-dying session! I stole one of Andy's undershirts (thank goodness I bought him new ones for Christmas) and we bought a little t-shirt for our baby girl. They are pink and yellow tie-dyed to match. It'll be a few years until she's big enough for her shirt, but I still think it's pretty awesome. (Don't worry, Levi isn't left out. He got a hand-painted Jamaican egg shaker.)
9. The music and dancing. Dang, but they can dance!! The drummers and dance group was absolutely crazy to watch.
10. Reminiscing about our honeymoon. This resort was totally different than our honeymoon resort in Mexico. This was much more compact (very good for a short trip and made it so much easier to get around quickly) among other things, but we kept coming up with things that are different now than 7 years ago. No Facebook photo posting yet! No Facebook statuses! No iPad or iPhone! I didn't have a job. We didn't have a house, car payment, dog, kid...
11. Wearing a bikini and totally not caring. No pictures, enough said.
12. The lack of schedule. The latest I slept in was 9:00, but it was still a sleep in! We didn't have to eat lunch at noon and dinner at 6:00. We weren't confined to our rooms after 7:30. It was nice to have a little freedom.
13. Missing Levi. I found myself missing the funniest things about Levi. In particular, his little squishy baby armpits. I realized it had been four days since I had picked up a baby (must start saying toddler) under those sweet little arms. Four days since I pulled his arm up while getting him dressed and tickled his little arm pit. Grown up armpits are gross, but baby armpits are sweet. ;)
This list more than makes up for the fact that I didn't get a drop of Jamaican rum in my frozen fruity drinks. Totally worth it!
Andy and I just got back from a four-day, three-night trip to the all-inclusive Sandals Royal Caribbean resort in Jamaica. It was the first time we've both left Levi overnight (with my parents), and we all were reunited in one piece. Here's my running list of all the wonderful things we encountered:
1. The flight. A 3.5 hour flight without a toddler! What a luxury. For the first time ever, I was able to watch a movie on my own device (Kindle Fire) during the flight. Before Levi, I didn't have an iPad or Kindle Fire. I was able to stretch out the 2-hour "Water for Elephants" that I rented for $4 throughout the whole flight. I also ordered hot tea as my drink, the most un-toddler-friendly thing I could think of.
2. The weather. About 82 during the day, 72 at night. It was never too hot, never too cold. The breeze was friendly and constant. I just loved being outside so much, even if it did result in a few Jamaican mosquito bites including three on my forehead.
3. The trees and birds. Again, I loved being outside the whole time. The huge almond trees on the beach had the most amazing leaves. There was a bird that I never saw, but I thought at first that it was a person yelling "help! help!" I also spotted the Jamaican hummingbird with its long tail feathers. I love hummingbirds.
4. The room and the butler. We were in a butler-serviced suite! That meant we had two butlers (one we only saw a couple times, the other was our main guy). Joshayne and Orlando. Every time Joshayne would ring our bell, he'd call out "It's Joshayne... the but-lerrrrrr." He would set up our beach chairs and towels, bring me nice virgin drinks, make our dinner reservations, bring us snacks... My favorite was when we returned to our room after a long day at the beach (tough life) and he had drawn a rose-petal scented bubble bath and put flowers and candles all over the room! Loved that. The room itself was beautiful and luxurious. If it had rained "liquid sunshine" and we were stuck inside all day, I wouldn't have minded.
5. Getting to know my baby. The early baby movements are easy to miss when you are running around and going about your daily life, but on the first day of vacation, I felt like I got to spend so much time with my little girl. All those fruity cold drinks and time just relaxing... she would move all over the place. The best was when we went to the drum show and she kicked up a little storm while the drums were playing! I loved knowing she could feel and hear some of this world that she'll soon be a part of.
6. Seeing Andy. Vacation is only vacation if my hubby is with me. Just having him by my side was the best part.
7. The baby name game. We went through every single girl name in the 60,000 baby names book we bought for Levi. That's approximately 30,000 names. Unbelievable. We wrote down every name that we didn't have an immediate "no" for. So far, still no official name but we also won't really decide until the birthday anyways.
8. Tie-dye. The resort had a daily schedule of little activities throughout the day and each evening. Aqua aerobics, anyone? They had a tie-dying session! I stole one of Andy's undershirts (thank goodness I bought him new ones for Christmas) and we bought a little t-shirt for our baby girl. They are pink and yellow tie-dyed to match. It'll be a few years until she's big enough for her shirt, but I still think it's pretty awesome. (Don't worry, Levi isn't left out. He got a hand-painted Jamaican egg shaker.)
9. The music and dancing. Dang, but they can dance!! The drummers and dance group was absolutely crazy to watch.
10. Reminiscing about our honeymoon. This resort was totally different than our honeymoon resort in Mexico. This was much more compact (very good for a short trip and made it so much easier to get around quickly) among other things, but we kept coming up with things that are different now than 7 years ago. No Facebook photo posting yet! No Facebook statuses! No iPad or iPhone! I didn't have a job. We didn't have a house, car payment, dog, kid...
11. Wearing a bikini and totally not caring. No pictures, enough said.
12. The lack of schedule. The latest I slept in was 9:00, but it was still a sleep in! We didn't have to eat lunch at noon and dinner at 6:00. We weren't confined to our rooms after 7:30. It was nice to have a little freedom.
13. Missing Levi. I found myself missing the funniest things about Levi. In particular, his little squishy baby armpits. I realized it had been four days since I had picked up a baby (must start saying toddler) under those sweet little arms. Four days since I pulled his arm up while getting him dressed and tickled his little arm pit. Grown up armpits are gross, but baby armpits are sweet. ;)
This list more than makes up for the fact that I didn't get a drop of Jamaican rum in my frozen fruity drinks. Totally worth it!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
it's a...
GIRL!
The ultrasound tech wasn't as sure because the baby was in a very modest position, but after I walked around a bit and then the doctor checked, the position was much better. He said definitely girl.
Wow is all I can say. I think I'm a little nervous for what is ahead of me. With Levi, I felt completely unprepared to care for and raise a little boy. But as life progressed and we found our way, I discovered more and more joys of what it means to be a mother to a little boy. It's like unwrapping a whole bunch of presents that you didn't expect. Things like how adorable it is to see a little boy with his daddy, or to see him holding onto his doggie's leash. Advantages like being able to say things like "oh, you're such a boy" when he does something gross that I'm sure both girl and boy babies do.
But with a girl, I've always wanted a girl and saw myself with a teenage daughter, shopping at the mall with her, baking cookies together, and doing all the mother-daughter bonding that my own mother and I have done. Now that it's almost a reality, I wonder how reality will measure up to my expectations. Does that make sense? I feel like I have pictured a reality for her that I didn't picture for Levi, which could potentially set myself up for disappointment. Isn't it crazy the ways we find things to worry about!?
Silly worries aside, I'm thrilled to find out this baby girl is growing and healthy. Already I feel like she's different than her brother. She doesn't demand that I eat an entire house worth of food each day. She doesn't kick me when I draw my legs up. Rather, she waits until I'm stretched out and quiet, laying still. Oh, and I think she requires more, eh hm, maternal fat stores as they call them since my weight gain has been a lot steadier than with Levi.
I don't know what she'll look like. If she'll have my brown eyes or Andy's blue. Will she be bald as a cue ball for her first year, or come out looking like I did with a mass of dark brown hair? Will she be more of a snuggler than Levi was? I don't know yet, but I do know I already love her.
The ultrasound tech wasn't as sure because the baby was in a very modest position, but after I walked around a bit and then the doctor checked, the position was much better. He said definitely girl.
Wow is all I can say. I think I'm a little nervous for what is ahead of me. With Levi, I felt completely unprepared to care for and raise a little boy. But as life progressed and we found our way, I discovered more and more joys of what it means to be a mother to a little boy. It's like unwrapping a whole bunch of presents that you didn't expect. Things like how adorable it is to see a little boy with his daddy, or to see him holding onto his doggie's leash. Advantages like being able to say things like "oh, you're such a boy" when he does something gross that I'm sure both girl and boy babies do.
But with a girl, I've always wanted a girl and saw myself with a teenage daughter, shopping at the mall with her, baking cookies together, and doing all the mother-daughter bonding that my own mother and I have done. Now that it's almost a reality, I wonder how reality will measure up to my expectations. Does that make sense? I feel like I have pictured a reality for her that I didn't picture for Levi, which could potentially set myself up for disappointment. Isn't it crazy the ways we find things to worry about!?
Silly worries aside, I'm thrilled to find out this baby girl is growing and healthy. Already I feel like she's different than her brother. She doesn't demand that I eat an entire house worth of food each day. She doesn't kick me when I draw my legs up. Rather, she waits until I'm stretched out and quiet, laying still. Oh, and I think she requires more, eh hm, maternal fat stores as they call them since my weight gain has been a lot steadier than with Levi.
I don't know what she'll look like. If she'll have my brown eyes or Andy's blue. Will she be bald as a cue ball for her first year, or come out looking like I did with a mass of dark brown hair? Will she be more of a snuggler than Levi was? I don't know yet, but I do know I already love her.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
the countdowns
I've had several countdowns running, and I'm very happy to say they are nearing an end.
- Just 25 hours until my mom's flight lands and 50 hours until my dad drives in
- Less than 2 days until The Big Ultrasound. The office called me today to confirm and remind me of my appointment. Pssh. As if I'd forget!
- Four days until Andy and I take our babymoon trip to Jamaica! This will be a huge first for us, as it's the first time we've both left Levi overnight. He'll be in good hands with my parents, and the many many lists I've left.
- One week until Chloe is off of cage rest after her spinal surgery. I'd like to think that our diligence and her cooperation is going to be very good in the long run, even though none of us have liked having her in the cage all day resting.
- Two weeks until our house goes back on the market and we begin the house hunt again in earnest.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
not over you
Pregnancy has a way of turning all songs on the radio into songs about my baby-to-be, as mentioned in the previous post. This time around, this one particular song has been following me around and making me misty eyed every time it comes on. Gavin DeGraw is not talking about a baby when he's singing "Not Over You," but here's what I hear in the lyrics...
Dreams, that's where I have to go
to see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
to see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
(I only have one picture of this baby, a little blurby picture. And I listen to the radio almost all day long.)
Hope, hope there's a conversation
where we both admit we had it good but
where we both admit we had it good but
(Sometimes, I just can't wait to be able to talk to him or her.)
until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood
(To be so close to the baby, and yet so far from actually holding him or her...)
And I realize
If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine
(My standard answer to the "how are you?" question is "good"... probably because I'm mostly good, but also because I know I could be a lot worse off. So generally speaking, I'm good.)
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
(Sometimes I will also say something like "it's going so fast" like this baby isn't always on my mind because I'm so busy with life and Levi.)
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
(This is when Levi and I are out to lunch, just the two of us at a table set for two...)
and finally I'm forced to face the truth
No matter what they say, I'm not over you
Not over you
Not over you
(Yup, it hits you like a ton of bricks... it won't be just the two of us for much longer! And I'm still not over the excitement of finding out about this baby.)
Damn, damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
You took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I I'm a boomerang doesn't matter how you throw me
Turn around and I'm back in the game
Damn, damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
You took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I I'm a boomerang doesn't matter how you throw me
Turn around and I'm back in the game
(Hah, I feel like I was just there doing this pregnancy thing, and here I am, back in the game. Maybe because I only had less than two months between weaning Levi and getting pregnant again.)
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you
One day I will listen to songs like normal people do, I promise!
Monday, January 9, 2012
i just haven't met you yet
I was eating lunch with my little dining companion today, when one of our favorite special songs came on the radio. I've thought of this as "our song" ever since before Levi was born, as it played constantly on the radio in the days leading up to his July 2010 birthday. "Haven't Met You Yet" just seemed to make so much more sense as a baby song than a love song, to me. Here are the lyrics and my interpretations throughout:
I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
(Approaching the due date, sometime I'd get worked up about it, but then realized there was nothing I could do yet.)
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
(I think most pregnant women are *this close* to losing their sanity on most days. It's a big change a-coming!)
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
(Hind sight... I didn't think I'd be in labor for 12 days straight. No joke.)
And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
(Twelve days of contractions is WORK!)
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
(False. I do not give more than the joy I receive.)
I just haven't met you yet.
(It's so odd to have a person inside you, so very close, and yet so far away.)
I might have to wait.
(Hah. Those days are the longest days ever.)
I'll never give up.
(I have yet to hear of a pregnant woman staying pregnant forever.)
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
(Yup, that magic day is completely out of my control.)
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
(All of a sudden, here's a whole new person!)
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
(Baby, you have turned me into a mother.)
They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.
(We got it right. Not many women dream of their child born by c-section after all that hard work laboring, but in the end, the perfect plan for us unfolded and I finally got to meet my Levi.)
* Disclaimer: Today's sappy post was brought to you by pregnant hormones, courtesy of your July 2012 baby-to-be, who I haven't met yet.
I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
(Approaching the due date, sometime I'd get worked up about it, but then realized there was nothing I could do yet.)
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
(I think most pregnant women are *this close* to losing their sanity on most days. It's a big change a-coming!)
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
(Hind sight... I didn't think I'd be in labor for 12 days straight. No joke.)
And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
(Twelve days of contractions is WORK!)
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
(False. I do not give more than the joy I receive.)
I just haven't met you yet.
(It's so odd to have a person inside you, so very close, and yet so far away.)
I might have to wait.
(Hah. Those days are the longest days ever.)
I'll never give up.
(I have yet to hear of a pregnant woman staying pregnant forever.)
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
(Yup, that magic day is completely out of my control.)
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
(All of a sudden, here's a whole new person!)
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
(Baby, you have turned me into a mother.)
They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.
(We got it right. Not many women dream of their child born by c-section after all that hard work laboring, but in the end, the perfect plan for us unfolded and I finally got to meet my Levi.)
* Disclaimer: Today's sappy post was brought to you by pregnant hormones, courtesy of your July 2012 baby-to-be, who I haven't met yet.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
radio silence
I can explain my brief blog silence for two reasons:
1) We moved the computer downstairs when we put the house on the market for staging reasons, and I just don't spend as much time on it now. Instead I use the iPad and now the Kindle Fire to catch up on web things.
2) I'm going to have another baby! The cat is out of the bag now. I'm due on July 14, 2012 with my second baby. This one is just two weeks shy of Levi's second birthday, so it'll be a busy, busy summer. I just finished telling all the friends and family, so before that I was being quiet all around so as not to spill the beans too early. I enter the second trimester in a couple days and so far, so good. I haven't been as famished as I was with Levi, nor have I been quite as tired. I have, however, been a much more emotional basketcase. I first figured this out around week 5 or 6 when the song "Lighters" by Eminem and Bruno Mars made me cry. Seriously? I have no idea why... when Bruno sings about all he wants to see is a sky full of lighters... I still don't understand what my deal was.
So that's my excuse for the short blog silence! Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
1) We moved the computer downstairs when we put the house on the market for staging reasons, and I just don't spend as much time on it now. Instead I use the iPad and now the Kindle Fire to catch up on web things.
2) I'm going to have another baby! The cat is out of the bag now. I'm due on July 14, 2012 with my second baby. This one is just two weeks shy of Levi's second birthday, so it'll be a busy, busy summer. I just finished telling all the friends and family, so before that I was being quiet all around so as not to spill the beans too early. I enter the second trimester in a couple days and so far, so good. I haven't been as famished as I was with Levi, nor have I been quite as tired. I have, however, been a much more emotional basketcase. I first figured this out around week 5 or 6 when the song "Lighters" by Eminem and Bruno Mars made me cry. Seriously? I have no idea why... when Bruno sings about all he wants to see is a sky full of lighters... I still don't understand what my deal was.
So that's my excuse for the short blog silence! Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
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