for one of the first times

I often look forward to the next phase. Not necessarily wishing away the difficulties of a current phase, but just looking forward to what's next. Levi learning to read. Wendy learning to speak in full sentences. Stuff like that.

I find myself, for one of the first times, really not wanting this stage to end. Levi is growing up. I can't call him a toddler anymore. I guess he's a preschooler? But only for another year and a half! He's been potty trained a full year today. He's almost going to be four! But what's really got me by the throat right now is that this is his last year in MOPS (mother of preschoolers) with me. Next year he will be in preschool on Fridays when our meetings take place. He's been with me for three years now. The first, as a 14 month old, cryyyyyying for mommy. Then as a slightly surly two year old who would kind of cry and pout about being left. And this year as a three year old who wants to help me. We get to MOPS, and then he "helps" me drop off Wendy in her "baby classroom," then he helps me pick out my seat in the "mommy meeting." It is so sweet and makes me feel so special to have him as my helper. I love when we "sneaky sneak" past Wendy's room to make sure she isn't crying, as we go back to take Levi to his class. And I love it when Levi later asks me how my mommy meeting went. I don't want this time to end, but I know that Levi's last MOPS meeting will happen this May. He's been my buddy, my second appendage for almost four years now (more than four if you count the time in the womb when he really was all mine), and we're slowly beginning the process of separating from one another. It'll be another 14 years before he's maybe out of the house, but it's starting. I just hope and pray that even in our separateness, he still loves me and still wants to be mine in some way.