not over you

Pregnancy has a way of turning all songs on the radio into songs about my baby-to-be, as mentioned in the previous post. This time around, this one particular song has been following me around and making me misty eyed every time it comes on. Gavin DeGraw is not talking about a baby when he's singing "Not Over You," but here's what I hear in the lyrics...

Dreams, that's where I have to go
to see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio

(I only have one picture of this baby, a little blurby picture. And I listen to the radio almost all day long.)

Hope, hope there's a conversation
where we both admit we had it good but

(Sometimes, I just can't wait to be able to talk to him or her.)

until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood

(To be so close to the baby, and yet so far from actually holding him or her...)

And I realize

If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine

(My standard answer to the "how are you?" question is "good"... probably because I'm mostly good, but also because I know I could be a lot worse off. So generally speaking, I'm good.)

I would lie and say that you're not on my mind

(Sometimes I will also say something like "it's going so fast" like this baby isn't always on my mind because I'm so busy with life and Levi.)

But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two 

(This is when Levi and I are out to lunch, just the two of us at a table set for two...)

and finally I'm forced to face the truth

No matter what they say, I'm not over you
Not over you

(Yup, it hits you like a ton of bricks... it won't be just the two of us for much longer! And I'm still not over the excitement of finding out about this baby.)

Damn, damn girl you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
You took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent 
I I'm a boomerang doesn't matter how you throw me
Turn around and I'm back in the game

(Hah, I feel like I was just there doing this pregnancy thing, and here I am, back in the game. Maybe because I only had less than two months between weaning Levi and getting pregnant again.)

Even better than the old me

But I'm not even close without you

One day I will listen to songs like normal people do, I promise!