not the first time we've done this

Happy Halloween! I think the scariest thing about this year is that... it's not Levi's first Halloween! It's his second. Second?! It's so hard to believe that this year is all about Levi's seconds.

Rather than be nostalgic and sad that all those first holidays are over, I'm really excited. I had a similar feeling after Andy and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We finished all the first holidays and now we were free to just start enjoying, no pressure to make The First of anything extra special.

So to celebrate Levi's second Halloween -- since he's still too little to understand or benefit from real trick-or-treating -- today I will dress him up in his fireman costume and take him to the library to read books about spiders and pumpkins, then we'll go to the grocery store for a snack and shopping, then I'll make pumpkin bread for Levi's sweet treat. I'll let Levi help us answer the doorbell since he loves the sound of the doorbell. I think it'll be a good Halloween.

daydreams

The house hunt is either so very close to being complete, or it's so very close to falling through and resuming in March. Who knows! But that's beside the point. I feel like we're so close, my mind keeps wandering off, decorating and DIYing and being creative in our new house, making it our own. In particular, I keep thinking of how I'll make the basement the most awesome, coolest, cutest, funnest (you get the point) place for my kid(s).

First I'll find some comfy little pouf chairs (like this one from Pier 1, but better) that'll be the base for a really fun, whimsical color palette:

And then I'll get really creative and assemble my own play kitchen using really inexpensive materials, like they do on Ikea Hackers:

And I'll find the cutest little accent rugs and fun bins for the built-in bookshelves, and I'll use a really great paint color that makes the basement feel bright and cozy at the same time, and... and...

And then I start thinking about the little office with the built-in bookshelves and fireplace that'll be my office/craft room and how I'll paint it that beautiful coral melon color I've always loved and get a white desk and put up some beautiful black and white photos of all my favorite things and I'll finally get a paper shredder like I know I should have, and... and...

It's fun to daydream, isn't it?

Oh, right, and I'll also get that sewing machine that'll I'll learn how to use so I can make my kid(s)' Halloween costume and my own drapes and pillows, and... and...

getting to know you

Something I love about being a mom: knowing all the little things about Levi that I take for granted that others might not know.

• He doesn't scare easily and will only really cry if he bonks his head hard or smashes his fingers. Little trips or falls don't faze him.
• He loves food and sometimes laughs when he tries a new texture.
• If there's a plug, cord or small choking hazard somewhere in a room, he will find it. I'm trying to figure out how to partner up with a babyproofing company to hire him as a consultant.
• He really wants to learn how to snap his fingers to music like I do. I think it'll be a few years.

And so many more things I can't think of, but I love them all!

it was a pancake kind of morning

The Simpsons wanted a pancake Saturday morning, but not the clean-up it takes, so we went out to the Jukebox Diner. Andy ended up with a waffle and I got French toast, so no actual pancakes were consumed, but it was definitely a pancake memory. Call me crazy, but we actually had a relaxing breakfast out with a toddler. There were no loud noises, no fits over too-slow food (which is surprising since he had to wait almost an hour from wake-up moment to eating moment), no throwing food or sippy cups. But it wasn't just what didn't happen, it was what Levi did do. He made his so-completely-happy-I-can't-stand-it faces of joy when the food arrived. He waved and said bye-bye to a group of patrons leaving the restaurant. He ate so neatly he didn't require a bib. And when we left and walked past the juke box, he pointed to the bubbly lights and said bubbles.

Great pancake memory.

yes, indeed, i'm walkin'

I've had so many parents tell me "Watch out. When they start walking, it's all over." I respectfully disagree. Yes, I know Levi isn't running away from me in a parking lot yet or squirming his little hand out of my grasp at inopportune times, but I'm so excited he has started walking. I finally got the day I was hoping for when we went to Frying Pan Farm Park this week. I actually forgot the stroller by accident, but I'm so glad. Levi got to walk all over the place.

He's not 100% steady on his feet yet, but his newfound ability to stand up without using something (a wall or piece of furniture) made a huge difference. I could really see how much he was enjoying himself as he stood around, swinging his arms by his sides and taking in all his surroundings. We played on the playground, visited the animals, pet a sheep, looked at baby pigs and took a tractor wagon ride. It was such a quintessential kid day -- the kind that seems so far away when your baby is a lumpy little thing with no head control -- I couldn't help but smile.

a wonderful weekend

Every now and then, everybody's entitled to too much perfection.

A quote from "Bed of Roses," one of my all-time-favorite guilty pleasure movies, kept popping in my head as I spent three days in NYC with just my mom. Levi stayed home for an all-daddy weekend (which I think both parties thoroughly enjoyed), and I got to travel sans-diaper bag. We had such a wonderful time, and everything just seemed to line up. In no particular order, points from our perfect weekend:

1. We arrived at exactly the same time. Mom flew from Florida and took a cab, I took the Amtrak and then the Subway, but we walked to the front door of my brother's apartment at the same moment. A sign of things to come!

2. Lovely lunches with sort of slow service. That gave us just the right amount of time to recharge from all our walking and get in all our talking. Not to mention the fact that we got to eat outdoors for one of our lunches, probably one of the last weekends that will be possible this fall.

3. Cream puff. Need I say more? Yes? Ok, it was delicious. The cream custard was so light yet rich, sweet but not too, slightly cool and perfectly smooth. We later find out that Beard Papa's is a chain of cream puff stores located anywhere from Russia to California to Sanford, Florida, about 15 minutes from my parents' house. Hmmm...

4. Billy Elliot, the musical. Despite all the times we've visited the city together, we've never seen a show.  Man, could that kid dance!! I couldn't believe a pre-teen could dance and sing and remember all those lines for such a long show.

5. The movies. My mom and I have always gone to the movies together. I even remember very specifically when we saw Sleepless in Seattle together when I was 10. I can remember where in the theater we sat (toward the back, on the right side of the aisle). So it's only right that we went to a movie together. We saw 50/50, a little uncertain as to how depressing it would be. Spoiler alert if you don't want to know the ending... the guy doesn't die and he gets the girl. I think there's enough sorrow and drama in the world, so I'm glad this movie took the high road.

6. Shopping. No one can power shop like my mom! And without any obligations to keep to a baby schedule, we were on cloud nine. I've added a pair of boots (the perfect kind), a ring from a SoHo street vendor, a hat, a jacket and a new wallet to my collection. And a bright orange NYC taxi t-shirt to Levi's. Me and my loot:

7. Missing Levi. It was fun to watch all the other babies of NYC being strolled and carted around. It gave me a chance to miss Levi and talk about him. I found myself saying these two phrases over and over: He's so funny. He's so cute. Hearing him kiss me through the phone was adorable.

The list could go on, but for now that's my story of too much perfection. Until next time!

cooling off

Houses, houses everywhere, and not an offer in sight. Yesterday, Andy, Levi and I visited 6 houses that I've already seen to show Andy and see if there are any we absolutely love. There are two or three that keep running through our heads, and we see-saw between...

Oh this is perfect!! Look where I can set up a little reading library for the kids. And isn't this yard great?


And then back to this...

I don't know, it feels kind of closed in. Maybe dark? Or maybe that's just their paint color. Or the furniture. Or maybe the ceilings are too low. We can't change that.


All I know is that we're not ready to put in an offer anywhere, and we haven't received any offers on our house either. Andy says this is a "cooling off" period of a few days where we try our hardest not to let our minds dart back and forth. I'm not going to click on any house pictures today (especially not ones I've already committed to memory). And I'm definitely going to attempt to sleep without dreaming that I'm wandering from room to room in a strange, cobbled-together version of every house we've hunted.

unexpected fun on a monday night

Don't you love it when a day turns around from kind of crazy and muddy to fun and easy? Yesterday was the perfect example.


Morning and afternoon: Running around trying to keep the house "show ready" for three separate showings, one of which arrived thirty minutes ahead of schedule. Dragging the baby and dog to the park for lunch and playing since it was such a nice day, but dealing with the confused barking dog who didn't want to be tied to the stroller while Levi played at the playground. We left the playground all three covered in dirt/mud and mosquito bites. Weren't mosquitos supposed to be gone by now? October?!

Evening: Go over to Ian and Nicky's house in Leesburg to help them retrieve a large (300 pound!) vanity for their bathroom remodel. Not only did I not have to do any of the work (someone's gotta keep the baby out of the way), but we were also handsomely rewarded with homemade lasagna, fudge for dessert and time to reconnect. Levi had a wonderful time, too, and even helped put away things in the fridge. Seeing him carry a large container of salad and put it away was hilarious. Levi and Andy went home and I stopped in the nice, quiet Leesburg Wegman's to do some much needed grocery shopping all by myself.

I love it when simple surprises sneak up on me like that and make a Monday feel like a Friday.

heart of the home

A good kitchen is near the top of our house hunt criteria list. It's one of the reasons that Andy and I loved the house we live in now. The kitchen is where everyone gathers and sits at the big island (now bigger even because we added a few inches when they installed the new granite). Speaking of the new granite, here's a picture the realtor took for our brochure:

Pretty, isn't it? I'm enjoying it, and the nice deep single sink and new faucet, while I can. I chose the color that I would want, hoping that the new homeowner likes it too.

Here's an example of what I want in my next kitchen:

Hah! Just kidding. Or am I? This is from the Hillwood Estate in D.C. that I toured last weekend with my dear friend Anna, a fellow Delta Zeta and former roommate. What a beautiful home! This was the kitchen, which I of course loved. The linoleum floor and formica type counters were so funny to see in a mansion, when now people seem to turn up their noses at it. There were NO dishwashers, either, but three really huge sinks.

I think one way I'll be able to tell we've found the right house is when I feel at home in the kitchen. That happened with this townhouse for me five years ago. I walked in and pulled out the chair at the counter and sat down. I don't know what possessed me to do that! You never think to sit down when you're house hunting, but it just felt right. Here's hoping someone has that feeling when they walk into this house and that we find that feeling somewhere else, too.

Jake Gyllenhaal explains "separate"

Thanks for the illustration, Sesame Street. I found this video amusing and quite topical for me as a stay-at-home mom who sometimes finds it difficult to separate from Levi.

The first time I ever felt separate from him was a few weeks after he was born. Andy, Levi and I went to Target to pick up some who-knows-what. Right when we got in the store, Levi decided it was snack time and daddy offered to take him back to the car and feed him a bottle of pumped milk. I'd take care of the shopping. When they walked away and left me by the shopping carts, I just stood there. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going, what I was looking for. I realized it was the first time in almost a year that I was in a public place without my baby either inside me or next to me.

Fast-forward another year, I'm still learning to separate from him more easily. Yesterday was one of the few times Levi has left the house without me or his daddy. My mother-in-law whisked him off for lunch and some play while I caught up on work and finished some house-selling business. It was wonderful to see him excited to see her, have him go get buckled in the car without me and go to a new place without me. And yet, when they left, I stood at the door and didn't know what to do. What's he doing right now? Is he fussing? Is he having fun? Is he walking or crawling? Is he getting into things he shouldn't be doing?

I know there will come a day when he'll be separate from me more often than not. He'll go play with his friend across the street or he'll get on a school bus without me. He'll go to high school and college without me, and I won't know what he's doing every minute. This must be another one of those things that other mothers don't warn you about! Or maybe they figure it'll make sense once you get there. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the time I have my boy all to myself.

staging

There's a breakable vase sitting on the floor in my basement rec room. My grandmother's cookie jar was placed (very, very temporarily) on the bottom shelf in my kitchen. There are lots of green and wispy plant type things scattered around. There is fake fruit and a decorative plate in my kitchen. None of these things look at all like something I'd have in my home, but I think this "staging" is all part of the process to get us thinking about our next home and detaching us a little from this one.

The house goes on the market in two days. In the meantime, we'll just keep telling Levi not to touch things and not to make too much of a mess with his toys, all buried out of sight. It'll be all worth it! It'll be all worth it! This is what I tell myself as I accidentally squirt Kaboom bathroom cleaner in my eye while getting the master bathroom all shiny and ready for buyers. Hmm...

the first rainy fall weekend

My favorite season is summer. I love the heat, the humidity, the air conditioning, the smell of grass, the way our neighborhood comes alive. So to me fall is the end of my favorite time. The days are shorter and I already start thinking of the time they will get longer again. The weather is really confusing, like this weekend when it started in the seventies on Friday and dropped twenty degrees by Saturday morning. It also rained all weekend long, the cold, drizzly kind that makes you want to hibernate. But I try to think of all the good that comes with fall. My list:

1. Sweater Andy. I met Andy in the fall of 2002, and he always wore sweaters. Dark greens ones that made his eyes look green, then stormy blue ones that made his eyes look blue. I am glad to see Sweater Andy come back and remind me of those early days.

2. Food. There's no denying that fall food is wonderful. Soon we'll break out the crock pot again, and I will again misjudge its capacity and make an overflowing pot of beef stew just the way I like it.

3. Pumpkin things. Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins are self-explanatory.

4. Thanksgiving. We're packing up and heading back to NYC for Thanksgiving again. It's one of the biggest organizational/listing/scheduling challenges of the year, and I love it.

5. Puffy vests. Not only do I love wearing puffy vests, but now Levi has a puffy vest! In orange! Like a little pumpkin. I cannot wait to put it on him.

I'm sure there are more reasons to love fall, but I think that's a pretty good start.